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Posted by Jonathan on October 25th, 2009 (All posts by Jonathan)
All systems are go on the Chicagoboyz blog.
This entry was posted on Sunday, October 25th, 2009 at 5:26 am and is filed under Humor, Photos.
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It needs to be stressed that these instruments and liquids are only intended to used sparingly to remove obtacles to the free market process and the unimpeded flow of, um, goods. Otherwise, the uninitiated might easily confuse them with the instruments of Stalinist purges.
If you are supposed to get a colonoscopy every five years, and you schedule two colonoscopies for consecutive days, does that mean you are covered for the next ten years?
At any rate, the real problem is the prep, not the procedure, for which you are anesthetized.
I have lots of helpful tips for the prep.
If they give you the anti-freeze don’t use the “flavor packets”, just get the stuff really cold, hold your nose, and chug it as fast as you can. After you are done with the anti-freeze, you will need fluids to re-hydrate — I like sprite diluted with ice. You will not be allowed to eat anything until after the procedure.
BTW: the worst of all possible worlds is to prep, and then have them tell you that they couldn’t see anything so you will need to come back in a couple of weeks after you prep again.
The doctor will come and talk to you after you wake up, you will be too stoned to remember what he said. Make sure that a trustworthy adult is with you and has a pen and paper with which to take notes. And that he can drive you home. The next day he can tell you what the doctor said.
Those that are concerned with what is happening in Honduras should be reading lagringasblocito on blogspot and the yahoo group honduras_living. These two resources are invaluable for maintaining a feel for events up to the minute.
October 25th, 2009 at 8:55 am
It needs to be stressed that these instruments and liquids are only intended to used sparingly to remove obtacles to the free market process and the unimpeded flow of, um, goods. Otherwise, the uninitiated might easily confuse them with the instruments of Stalinist purges.
October 25th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Exactly.
:)
October 25th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
So Jonathan, did you turn 50 and schedule your colonoscopy?
October 25th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
If you are supposed to get a colonoscopy every five years, and you schedule two colonoscopies for consecutive days, does that mean you are covered for the next ten years?
October 25th, 2009 at 4:06 pm
I think the recommendation for full scale colonoscopy is once every 10.
At any rate, the real problem is the prep, not the procedure, for which you are anesthetized.
I have lots of helpful tips for the prep.
If they give you the anti-freeze don’t use the “flavor packets”, just get the stuff really cold, hold your nose, and chug it as fast as you can. After you are done with the anti-freeze, you will need fluids to re-hydrate — I like sprite diluted with ice. You will not be allowed to eat anything until after the procedure.
BTW: the worst of all possible worlds is to prep, and then have them tell you that they couldn’t see anything so you will need to come back in a couple of weeks after you prep again.
The doctor will come and talk to you after you wake up, you will be too stoned to remember what he said. Make sure that a trustworthy adult is with you and has a pen and paper with which to take notes. And that he can drive you home. The next day he can tell you what the doctor said.
October 25th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Please fix the the unterminated link above. I apologize for the error.
October 25th, 2009 at 6:18 pm
No worries, Robert.
October 25th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Robert, your description was so appealing, I almost decided to do it just for fun (or to keep you guys company). Almost.
October 25th, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Jonathan: Thank you, and good luck.
Tatanya: There are somethings no one does for fun. But, fear not, your day will come, unless we get socialized medicine first.
October 25th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
My remark to the gastroenterologist, just I wafted off to cloud-cuckoo land: “All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”
October 25th, 2009 at 11:53 pm
You might say things are looking up.
October 27th, 2009 at 8:48 am
Those that are concerned with what is happening in Honduras should be reading lagringasblocito on blogspot and the yahoo group honduras_living. These two resources are invaluable for maintaining a feel for events up to the minute.
October 27th, 2009 at 9:16 am
Thanks, Megan.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Robert, thanks for the tips. I may owe you a plate of barbecue for them soon, having passed a certain milestone recently.
(Awaiting puns on “passed a certain milestone” …)