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    The True Dangers of Alcohol

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 19th October 2005 (All posts by )

    Related to our earlier discussion of drug legalization:

    Australian study finds alcohol linked to croc attacks (via Drudge)

    I can attest that all my interactions with dangerous reptiles can be blamed solely on sweet, delicious booze…

    Posted in Humor | 1 Comment »

    Evil Capitalist Multinational Corporation Propaganda Machine Run Delightfully Amok

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 1st March 2005 (All posts by )

    Hootie Ho-down
    If you’ve been watching much television lately, you may have caught Burger King‘s new ad for its Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch Chicken Sandwich. The spot, which is titled “Fantasy Ranch” has won my heart with its mix of wholesome folksy music, blatant sexual innuendo, and complete lunacy, all twisted to the purpose of promoting the unhealthy fast-food agenda of a multinational conglomerate. Tell me that this concept doesn’t warm your cold, machine-like capitalist heart as it does mine.

    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Humor | 26 Comments »

    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone… but…

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 21st February 2005 (All posts by )

    I must disagree somewhat with my co-blogger James Rummel’s earlier post on the cultural importance of Hunter S. Thompson’s works.

    Those who’ve read my stuff in the past know that I’ve always been more than a little influenced by HST. For those of us who enjoy strong drink and occasional forays into the domain of high weirdness, the good doctor provided a vocabulary to describe the vague and sometimes horrible recollections of lost evenings. His prose could be simultaneously fascinating and stupid, hilarious and repugnant, right and wrong.
    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Arts & Letters | 15 Comments »

    Professionalism In Action

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 4th November 2004 (All posts by )

    Thanks to Tim Blair, we now know that the good people running the Netscape CNN site have a remarkably expressive file naming system.

    As a commentator on Blair’s site says, “winners can laugh … losers are losers”.

    (Just in case they fix the file in question, here’s a screenshot)

    UPDATE:

    As I’m sure everyone’s already seen on Instapundit, CNN and Netscape have announced that the offending filename was created by a junior Netscape (not CNN) employee responsible for posting files (which is what I figured). This person has apparently been fired.

    Posted in Politics | 3 Comments »

    Life is just a bowl of pits

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 5th October 2004 (All posts by )

    Rodney Dangerfield has died at the age of 82. His lack of respect was a matter of record, but the man had some smart ties on his antebellum Tonight Show appearances, and if you didn’t think Easy Money and Back To School were funny, you are a filthy communist. Respect or no, he will be missed.

    Posted in Commiserations | 5 Comments »

    A Convention Note To MSNBC Execs

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 31st August 2004 (All posts by )

    Dear MSNBC executive monkeys,

    Long ago, I tried to warn you about a particular half-mad, white-haired talk show host. You did not listen, and you thereafter suffered a disastrous ratings decline that has nearly destroyed your network. I was somewhat reluctant to say I told you so, but there you have it.

    However, I now offer a bit of similar advice:
    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

    Day 11: Mr. Mojo Goes To Washington

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 15th August 2004 (All posts by )

    A few days with no Internet access has left the recent parts of our journey undocumented. Our visit to Cornflake’s new home in Blacksburg Virginia was uneventful, with the mild exception of leisurely visits to the local pubs. I shall spare you any detailed photographic evidence of our somewhat successful carousing, and skip to the next and near-final stop on this grand adventure. Today we reached the capital of the most powerful nation to ever exist on this planet.


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

    Day 9: Deepest West Virginia — Part II

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 11th August 2004 (All posts by )

    No travel today, just some random pictures of West Virginia:


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

    Day 8: Deepest West Virginia

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 11th August 2004 (All posts by )

    We drove from Petersburg to Clarksburg West Virginia today. Not much change in the type of scenery from yesterday, but much more of it.

    Here we are leaving Petersburg this morning:


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

    Day 7: Welcome To Appalachia

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 9th August 2004 (All posts by )

    The Indiana-Ohio border


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

    Day 6: Chicago And The Next Leg

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 9th August 2004 (All posts by )

    Today started out in the outskirts of Chicago and ended up in a suburb of Indianapolis.

    Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to hook up with my good friend Seed, from over at the Mint400.net due to a scheduling conflict. Also, the sage tourist advice given to us by Lexington Green was wasted due to poor follow-up and research, which left us lost no matter where we went in the Chicago area. However, we still managed to have a lovely time in Chi-Town.

    From our suburban start we made our way to the city center:


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments »

    Day 5: The Road to Chicago

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 8th August 2004 (All posts by )

    Here we are, on the outskirts of the city whose name inspires this very blog. The moderate 7-hour drive from Minneapolis to Chicagoland was somewhat of a challenge to us after failing to properly rest in the twin cities. Exhaustion is setting in, so I’ll yet again be brief…

    St. Paul’s downtown, although not as impressive as that of Minneapolis, is still quite nice. Unfortunately, we were unable to get close to the mighty cathedral there or the state capital building:


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »

    Day 4: Minneapolis

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 7th August 2004 (All posts by )

    AKA, the city formerly known as

    Note: No spectacular American scenery today, as we were not on the road. Instead, I offer the following selection of items (sans malevolent communists) of a more personal and egotistical variety. More on the road tomorrow.

    Today was a rest day. Cornflake and I enjoyed the hospitality of Agent Yogi, and his lovely wife, Agent Booboo.

    The Twin Cities are one of my favorite Metropolitan areas. This was cornflake’s first visit, so our hosts were intent on showing us the full charms of their adoptive home.

    However, the previous night’s celebrations had left us slightly “out of sorts” in the morning, as you might imagine, so we started the day with a nourishing and stomach settling breakfast:


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Day 4: Minneapolis

    Day 3: Welcome To The Midwest

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 6th August 2004 (All posts by )

    Today’s journey went relatively well. We reached Minneapolis with time to spare, and enjoyed a fine dinner and evening here with our trusted contacts, agents Yogi and Booboo. They have provided a fine and secure safe house here in the suburbs of the Twin Cities, where their high-tech security system protects us from the evil pinko bastards. We will stay here another day enjoying their hospitality before moving on to Chicago on Saturday.

    Celebrations of our arrival have led to a large number of Martinis, so I must keep things brief.

    Dead bugs on the open road of central South Dakota (we shall crush them!):


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

    Day 2: The Long Haul

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 5th August 2004 (All posts by )

    Today was a learning day for Cornflake and me. Our elders had warned us not to underestimate the raw size of Montana. We scorned their advice, thinking to ourselves, “My what great time we made today. There’s no doubt we can get through the rest of the state in mere hours. We are truly as mighty as the gods themselves.”
    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

    The Journey Begins

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 4th August 2004 (All posts by )

    And so, at the appointed hour, Cornflake and I began our great quest. First we had to provision ourselves with the proper travel food.


    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments »

    The Great American Road Trip

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 3rd August 2004 (All posts by )

    Today marks the beginning of what looks to be a fine summer road trip. Starting from my homebase here in Seattle, I’ll be accompanying my stalwart comrade and former co-blogger, Commander Cornflake, on a great cross-continental trek.

    My destination: Washington D.C.

    As a service to you, the fine Chicago Boyz reader, I shall endeavor to document this journey (internet access permitting) as I avoid the dangers of the American wilderness and outwit a countless stream of communist saboteurs.

    Talk to you soon…

    Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments »

    The Globalization Of American Politics

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 2nd August 2004 (All posts by )

    I’m constantly astounded by the degree to which Europeans concern themselves with American politics. You’d think I’d be used to it now, 45 years on. I remember one day in 1999 listening to the Diane Rheem show on my car radio coming back to work from lunch. The topic was the upcoming election and the guests were several European reporters covering them. I was surprised by both the number of international callers and the vehemence of their opinions.

    Todays Telegraph has an article by Rachel Sylvester that brings that home to me once again:

    …whatever happens in the United States in November will speed back, like a ricocheting bullet, to the British general election next year. There is an agreement across the political spectrum in Westminster that this presidential election is the most important for decades…

    Read the rest of this entry »

    Posted in Uncategorized | 28 Comments »

    Proof That We Are Living In The Future

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 10th March 2004 (All posts by )

    What do you get when you mix these three things?

    The Heckler & Koch G36 Assault Rifle
    (currently fielded by the German and Spanish armies)


    The M41-A Pulse Rifle
    (used by Colonial Marines in the movie Aliens)


    The Lazer Tag StarLyte Pro Toy
    (used by me in my 80’s childhood)

    The answer is the Army’s new XM-8 Carbine / Assualt Rifle.StrategyPage says the new rifle is getting good reviews. It currently fires NATO standard 5.56mm rounds, but may be rechambered for the new 6.8mm ammo the Army is considering.

    Now the M-16 / M-4 family looks cool and all, but the XM-8 looks like the guns we were promised for “The Future”, along with all the flying cars, despotic coporate police states, and zero-G brothels. The rest of civilization may be failing us, but at least the military is keeping up its end of things. If only they could get those orbital weapons platforms working, we’d be all set…

    Posted in Uncategorized | 33 Comments »

    Music news you can lose

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 26th December 2003 (All posts by )

    Fantastic* news coming from our favorite leporidae-flavored warmonger: William Shatner has recorded a new album.

    The new record, produced by alternarock piano-man and sometime pop-genius Ben Folds, will feature a guest appearance by former black flag front-man, and long-time professional angry person, Henry Rollins.

    For those of you unclear as to this event’s importance (how can you be so uncultured!?!), please visit William Shatner Sings for examples of the man’s great talent. My personal favorite is his rendition of Lucy In The Sky, but they’re all… well, how do I put this… let’s just say they’re all entertaining.

    *In using that adjective “Fantastic” in this context, I am perhaps twisting its meaning a bit. Although the dictionary does have fantastic defined as “Quaint or strange in form, conception, or appearance” that doesn’t quite get the meaning I was after. I was really trying for a word that meant, “so fundamentally terrible that the brain rejects it and latches onto ironic humor as protection.” I apologize for any confusion.

    Posted in Humor | 1 Comment »

    Greetings.

    Posted by Captain Mojo on 26th December 2003 (All posts by )

    For those of you who unfamiliar with the antics over at my blog (currently on hiatus), I’m Captain Mojo, the latest addition to the fine Chicago Boyz family.

    I like to think that I’ll provide that air of confused unprofessionalism, juvenile commentary, and semi-coherent ranting so necessary to balance the skillful writing, astute observations, and capability for abstract reasoning that my fellow contributors demonstrate so commonly.

    It’s all about balance and harmony people.

    Anyways, thanks to all the other fellas for letting me play in their sandbox, and I’m looking forward to joining in on all the fun.

    Posted in Blogging | 6 Comments »