Humor

The Democratic Candidates Debate

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Somehow I found myself watching part of it. This is how it looked to me:

Hillary: I have always been against the war, and as soon as I am elected we will begin withdrawing our troops. Except for a few troops who may be needed to guard our embassy. Oh, and fight Al Qaeda. Not more than 150,000 troops, tops. And no more warmongering like what President Bush is always doing. Oh yeah, Iran had better not try anything funny. But if they do, it’ll be President Bush’s fault for not being nice to them. And as for those wascally Iwanians, I promise to promise to consider to do my very best. Maybe.

Obama: I am more against the war than you are. Did I say war? What war? Don’t let the neocons fool you with their fearmongering. Remember, the USA can only remain strong by ignoring threats. For us to recognize those threats would be like forfeiting a game of chicken, and we would lose our national manhood. And even though we have no enemies, I pledge to negotiate with them. Except Pakistan, which I would treat differently, though I’m not quite sure how.

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Hedge Funds and Jim Gaffigan

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I was watching Jim Gaffigan (the comedian) on Conan O’Brien the other night and he was talking about the “innovation” of the upside-down ketchup bottle. He said that for years we basically were always holding it upside down and then after fifty years someone figured out, hey, let’s just have it come out the bottom in the first place. He said that future generations wouldn’t look on us favorably because it took us so long to grasp something so obvious…

A pretty funny joke but in fact this is sadly applicable to hedge funds, of all things. Let me explain the connection.

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