Long time readers know that I run a charity self defense course for violent crime survivors. I’ve been doing it for so long that word of mouth brings me more work than I can handle.
But it wasn’t always like that. When I was just starting out, decades ago, I would visit encounter groups and seminars to pass out some business cards and let people look me over so they wouldn’t be so self conscious if they dialed my number. Some of these seminars were more crowded than others.
The first seminar I ever attended for male rape victims was at one of the local hotels here in Columbus, Ohio. I was shocked to see how many people were there! It was standing room only, with men leaning against the walls and sitting in the aisles between rows of folding chairs.
The paragraph above makes it sound like there was a huge crowd packed into a big auditorium. The seminar was being conducted in a conference room that could seat maybe 40 people. There had to be close to one hundred who turned up, though, and I could see that more than a few men would turn around and walk away as soon as they saw the size of the crowd.
Most people just cannot get past the false impression that rape is a sexual act between a man and women. If a male is raped, then it must be male-on-male rape performed in prison or other extraordinary circumstances where women are unavailable. I was no different at the time, even though I had some small experience in law enforcement.
The fact of the matter is that rape is almost always an act of dominance, something which the feminist movement has been talking about for awhile. At the time I had my epiphany back in 1991 or so, there were twice as many males who were victims of violent crime than there were female victims. It seems reasonable to assume that there were at least twice as many male rape victims as females. This also aligns with my own experiences.
But it is extremely difficult to prove such a thing. Males are supposed to be tough, self reliant, capable enough to provide their own defense. To stand up in front of an authority figure such as a police officer and admit to having been raped is extremely difficult, and most male victims find it to be impossible.
But what happens if a male victim is raped by a woman? How much more difficult would it be to admit that a woman had gotten the best of them?
Women can certainly be criminals, even depraved and violent criminals. Wouldn’t it be reasonable to assume that a female would occasionally victimize a male in such a manner?
I’m discussing this because of this article by Dr. Helen. Below is the passage that spoke the loudest to me.
Women have much more psychological and legal power against men in our society and blackmail is very easy, given the current legal and political climate. Women know that men and boys have no or little legal recourse against them and use this to their advantage to get what they want. If you don’t believe this, take a look at Crystal Gail Mangum who made false rape charges against the Duke students. Any jail time for her? Nope. Her reward for lying? She just finished her bachelors degree in “criminal psychology” of all things!
Our society shames men who are abused by women just as it shamed and blamed women many years ago who were abused by men. Neither strategy is a good one for a society that purports to promote justice and fairness.
She has a point. As the man says, read the whole thing.