Just the other day I suggested, but then retracted, the proposal that Belgium should be destroyed.
Clearly, alarm bells went off in Brussels.
Next thing you know den Beste is reporting that France, Germany, Belgium and Luxembourg are creating a military alliance.
Of course, Julie Taton, Miss Belgium 2003, is the most qualified Belgian around, categorically, whatever the task may be. So I hereby propose that she immediately be given the rank of field marshal in the Belgian Army, and then be appointed to command the new EuroWeenieArmy (“EWA”). The one thing I insist on is that Field Marshall Taton must wear a uniform (and a helmet!) like Marlene Dietrich used to do.
Speaking of Miss Dietrich, check these out! (Click on the WWII images.) Look at Marlene upstaging General Bradley! She looks sharper in an Army uniform than he does, by miles. What a star Marlene was. And she could only have been from Europe, from Old Europe. She was Old Europe when it had class, taste, elegance, panache, pathos, toughness, vitality — and mystery and poetry, all with a whiff of cynical hedonism and a certain stylish decadence. Old Europe has no one in Marlene’s league these days.
Evil days have befallen Old Europe. Dull, gray days. The old girl is a pale shadow of her former self. All so unnecessary, so stupid, such a squandering of a great heritage. Wake up, Old Europe. Stop wasting your time trying to make an enemy of your best and only true friend, America. Wake up and be young again. Wake up and be great again.