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  • President Trump: Hire Mike Lotus

    Posted by L. C. Rees on December 11th, 2016 (All posts by )

    Mr. President,

    As you form your administration, I have one recommendation for you: hire my friend Mike Lotus.

    Who is Mike Lotus?

    Mike Lotus is a fierce and passionate servant of Jesus Christ, patriot, and father. He loves his God, these United States of America, and his wife and five children.

    Though these loves are the center of his world, they might not strike you as things that should single him out as someone worthy of your attention. Great to have, you might say, but why should I care? Many of the fellow citizens of our America, the greatest nation of history, love and serve their God, love and serve this nation, and love and serve their spouse and children. Many of those, in the wise (and weary) words of my own beloved mother, herself a mother of six, have been crazy (and devoted) enough to have given this republic five citizens as Michael and Jean Lotus have.

    My, you New Yorkers are a tough lot. Let me mention a few of the many things that should persuade you to hire Mike Lotus.

    In his day-time job, he is Michael J. Lotus, attorney at law, practicing in Chicago, Illinois. He is an experienced warrior of law, fighting for the same overlooked Midwesterners whose love of country allowed you to pierce Mrs. Clinton’s formidable blue wall and win the presidency over the near universal scorn of those that have led this great nation into shame.

    On top of the demands of his law practice and his large and busy family, Mike has also somehow found enough time to be a fearless advocate for the conservative cause and loyal volunteer for the Illinois Republican Party. This can be a lonely and thankless job, especially in the harsh blue wilderness of Mrs. Clinton’s birthplace and President Obama’s chosen hometown. Yet he continues to go out, watch the local polls, and fight the good fight for the GOP in a town run by Democrats so dedicated to civil rights that they believe that no-shows, the dead, and the fictional deserve the equal right to vote in our nation’s elections. In a town where the dead rose en mass for JFK in 1960, Lotus-scale exorcisms are too small on their own to stop legions of the dearly departed pressed into voting one more time for the city machine. But you become a determined and experienced exorcist in the face of such chronic outrages and, in the demon-haunted swamp you are descending into, you need all the great exorcists you can get.

    Mike is a fighter in the arena of ideas. With his good friend James C. Bennett, he wrote America 3.0: Rebooting American Prosperity in the 21st Century—Why America’s Greatest Days Are Yet to Come. In America 3.0, Mike and Jim lay out one road toward making America great again. While they differ in some details from your emerging plan to keep America great into this new millennium and beyond, in the larger thrust and spirit of their program they are in accord with the direction you want to take this country: up. It never hurts to have men of practical affairs who can double as men of practical ideas on your side. In Mike (and Jim), you’d hire a man who hits these two and other marks. Consider it a multitude-to-one deal, something well within your art.

    Mike and I differ on a few points of policy. For example, I’m a mercantilist and a protectionist and he’s a staunch advocate of free trade. We’ve had some energetic debates on this and other topics. Yet Mike has always been a good sport even when, as I too frequently do, I get lost in rhetorical excess. When the tide, as it sometimes but rarely does, goes against him, he salutes and does his duty like a good soldier and carries on with your ideas as if they were his own. It is a rare quality in these days where comprehensive indoctrination is often mistaken for thorough education and a brave and uncanny ability to regurgitate the views of the entrenched and powerful on demand is conflated with intelligence and insight that Mike can mix independence of mind and loyalty without leaving either shortchanged.

    You can’t fake authenticity, as your opponent in the recent presidential election so readily demonstrated.

    Hire Mike Lotus. You won’t be disappointed.

    Godspeed,

    Lynn C. Rees
    Murray, Utah, USA
    December 11, 2016

     

    5 Responses to “President Trump: Hire Mike Lotus”

    1. Lexington Green Says:

      Lynn, my blushes!

      Thank you for this extraordinarily kind, and unsolicited, public recommendation.

      My innate humility, perhaps the only virtue you did not mention, caused me to recoil a little at first.

      But if anyone ever says anything mean about me on the Internet, it will be there forever. And there may as well be something to put on the opposite side of the scale!

      We all hope and pray that President Trump’s administration will be a smashing success, with or without my personal participation.

    2. Grurray Says:

      Well, except for Mattis, I can say Mike/Lex would be a damn sight better than the rest of Trump’s picks. They’re all looking quite underwhelming, and somewhat alarming with all the Goldman Sachs alumni.

      The CIA’s Russia allegations that have flared up this weekend have ironically diverted attention away from the (Bad) Dream Team. Once again the timing and potency of the Left’s attacks have been terrible. If this is is the best they can do then Trump is in for a cakewalk.

      Anyway, I’m thinking Ambassador to the Anglosphere is a good place to start. I saw a press leak earlier in the week that the CANZUK free travel zone will get fast-tracked after Brexit. We need somebody to yank Trump away from Russia and back towards Albion.

    3. Jason In LA Says:

      HERE-HERE!!

      As a Californian may I suggest Lex move out here to be appointed to the Ninth Circuit.

    4. PenGun Says:

      “CANZUK free travel zone”

      I don’t like it. All three of the non Canadian participants are heading surely towards much a more authoritarian stance. The recent UK surveillance laws are appalling and both Australia and New Zealand are moving that way too.

    5. Grurray Says:

      Hopefully Mattis will be killing the F-35 and the LCS ship. With the barbarians at the gate, a new warfighting strategy will need to be established. I propose he appoint Lex to Undersecretary of Projectile Warfare.