Voltaire’s Prayer

“I have never made but one prayer to God; a very short one: ‘Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.’ And God answered it.”

I have a feeling that Mittens Romney, the heir-apparent to the Republican Party nomination in this year of our Lord 2012 also made that prayer in the last couple of weeks – and the deity came through like a brick. I speak of the jaw-droppingly tacky suggestion that the Obama campaign be added to bridal registries – that friends and loved ones give a donation to to his campaign rather than a gift to the happy couple. Mind you, it’s been my observation that couples marrying their fortunes (or lack of them) together in these modern times had usually been living out in the real world long enough to have acquired most of the necessary impedimenta and furniture – and that in marrying they needed to get rid of duplicates, once their separate households were merged, rather than acquire any more. But times have been tough enough lately – and many of these single-and-soon-to-be-merged households might have been living on a string and cheap Walmart/Target c**p anyway. I am a traditionalist – I believe in the gravy boat (yes, it is a gravy boat), the good china, and silverware, the crystal, a good toaster, and all of that. Getting married is when your kin and friends lovingly provide you with the items that you will use for special occasions and cherish for decades. That’s why – when I realized one day in 1984 that I probably would never marry and thereby score any of the really good stuff, I went and bought a set of good china for myself. (Bing & Grondahl Blue Traditional – no trim, and yes it was a good bit cheaper in the AAFES Catalog, back in the day)

So, this … method of presidentially Hoovering up additional campaign funds just seems to me as crass as it is unseemly. This is not anything like asking mourners at a funeral to skip the flowers – which the honored dead and their dearest kin are usually in no position to appreciate anyway – and just send a donation to a cause that the deceased favored or a medical research front against the ailment which carried off the dearly departed. This fresh horror verges more into the political landscape of North Korea or some other totalitarian state demanding that the Dear Leader get first dibs on the social and emotional lives of his/her subjects, and that the subjects must make a public demonstration of their devotion. What’s next – a picture of his Highness Barry displayed on the gift table with all the china, crystal and silver? Maybe all the attendees turning towards it and drinking a fulsome toast to him, before toasting the happy couple? I guess we only should be grateful that no one in his campaign thought to ask for a pledge on first night with the bride … or the groom. And I await the announcement of some scheme to dedicate birthday party money, and kid’s Tooth Fairy quarters to the Glorious Leader. Really, the jokes about this about write themselves. Like this particular visual.

Who, in what must be a terribly closeted and blinkered administration/campaign thought this was a good idea, the bee’s knees, a scathingly brilliant notion to milk a few more dimes and dollars from the faithful? Honestly, I might speculate on the existence of a mole within the Obama campaign – perhaps a Hillary fan with a grudge and a long (as these things go) memory, ensuring that every bold new step forward instead makes the Obama-naughts the laughingstock of the blogosphere. Which is a notion that I – in a cruel sort of way – would like to see take hold in the bowels of whatever gatherings, meetings and focus-groups that the Obama campaign holds over the next few weeks and months. I would like to see paranoia strike deep, into their minds it will creep … the notion that the guy, or gal over there is a Romney saboteur.

Yes, I am being cruel and devious, but I live to serve.
(Crossposted at www.ncobrief.com)

9 thoughts on “Voltaire’s Prayer”

  1. I still think the Chinese method of handling wedding gifts are the most practical. Money in an envelope to pay for the wedding itself.

  2. What is scary is the number of people—not sure how many, but surely it’s in the millions—who will think that this is entirely reasonable.

    The virus of leader-worship seems to infect more people than we would have thought possible in America.

  3. This brings back memories. Wedding gifts aren’t as meaningful as they used to be pre-registry days (I still look with fondness on some candleholders my husband’s cousins of good taste gave us) but the new forms are good too.

    Apparently the Clinton’s (those prevous grifters) didn’t really set up a wedding registry – but maybe that was why Snopes checked this one out. Perhaps a good rule for a campaign is to avoid doing things on which Snopes is asked to comment and finds, yes, they really are that crazy.

    Then there’s the “married to the government” picture of Julia – and so much policy for the last 70 years. The phrasing on signs is a step toward required presidential portraits – as is most attractive in North Korea.

    Of course, there’s the older Droit du seigneur. (Though to give him his due, Obama seems far too icy for those old human failings – an iciness that is making Clinton’s ego seem far more attractive than I ever thought it could.) Of course, if his opponents thught in terms of racial stereotypes, that one would surface. But I think none (or at least few) associate sex with our current president. It isn’t racist stereotypes but policies that animate us.

  4. Put aside the creepiness, not to mention the crassness of suggesting marrying couples put their guests on the spot politically. Some grownup should have said, this is a dumb idea, and that should have been that. That such a ridiculous scheme made it through the filters shows how insular the Obama organization is.

    Still, Obama continues to have the edge on Intrade. A lot of people still like him and will overlook his gaffes and howlers. We will be lucky if he loses.

  5. He is ahead on Ladbrokes, too. The betting money is on Obama, despite him stepping on one rake after another. If he was a few good weeks, or Romney makes a serious mistake, he may become unassailable.

  6. Let’s hope the money currently flowing to Mr. Romney is a better barometer of things to come. I’d at least wait til the conventions before I get too concerned with Intrade, et al.

    No denying recent polling in Florida showing a switch back to the Obama side is disconcerting. Though, ever the optimist, I can’t help but note the following poll is of “registered voters” rather than *likely* voters. That can make a difference. Who’s more motivated to get out to vote?


  7. Intrade is still betting on the stupidity and ignorance of the voting populace will swing in Emperor Narcissus’ favor.

  8. Bigfire, there is a custom among certain ethnic groupings in the US, called the money dance.
    Which seems to be one of those rather practical things … there are couples I have read about who asked for money gifts to use towards a mortgage. Icky, but again practical, I suppose.
    In my own culture, it is kind of crass to ask for money straight-up. Or to be grabby about registering. One can be tasteful or crass … just depends on how it is all worded. But the Obama registry just comes across as mega-crass, as well as putting friends and relations very much on the spot.
    I know that the droit du seigneur as the next step is a joke, but I have the feeling that ther are some dedicated Dems who would go for it, totally – but I agree with Ginny – there is something icy and calculating about the Obammeister. My daughter has looked at the pictures of Obama and Michelle taken on public occassions when they are being affectionate … and she says they really seem to be kind of stiff. Reminds her of the pictures of Prince Charles and Diana when they were on the outs, towards the end of their marriage. Something forced about their expressions and posture.
    Eh – what do I know? I’m only a blogger.

  9. In Bladerunner, they would interrogate replicants by asking questions. A replicant couldn’t answer properly certain questions, because he had no human understanding. O is a replicant- a robot made of flesh and blood. He is a human being in physical appearance only. He will continue to say and do stupid things, or things that look stupid to anyone with a few functioning neurons.

    Those Intrade numbers? They will continue to sink as some of our slower electors gradually get the point.

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