Some have suggested that President Barack Obama may not really be an American citizen. I’ve never paid much attention to these arguments; however, I’m now increasingly convinced that Mr Obama’s true origins may lie in a place much further away than Kenya or Indonesia.
Consider the presidential following statement, made at a recent press conference:
My job right now is just to make sure that everybody in the Gulf understands this is what I wake up to in the morning and this is what I go to bed at night thinking about: the spill.
This statements suggests to me that Obama is probably not a citizen of the planet Earth, but rather a citizen of the planet Grqx, an interesting world located about 75,000 light-years away. The laws of nature are different on Grqx…indeed, the laws of nature are suspended there, because of the powerful force field of magic that exists on that planet. On Grqx, thinking or talking about something is equivalent to doing something about it…indeed, the magic works better if you don’t think or talk directly about the problem you’re trying to fix, but rather about your own feelings about that problem…even better, your feelings about your feelings.
Another interesting point about Grqxians is that they are incapable of truly understanding the emotional reactions of earth people…while they can simulate such understanding for short periods of time, they are incapable of sustaining it.
Interstellar anthropologists should be excited about this discovery: While small amounts of Grqxian heritage have been found among many lawyers, writers, advertising people, and certain kinds of professors, full-blooded Grqxians are believed to be very rare.
Ann Althouse suggests that some of the reactions to the statement quoted above are unfair, and argues that Obama was referring merely to his job in the press conference itself…and yes, when he says “my job right now,” he probably does mean “my job at this press conference.” Still, even with this context the Obamian statement is noteworthy for its narcissism and general weirdness.
Can anyone imagine FDR, shortly after Pearl Harbor, saying “My job right now is to make sure everyone understands that I wake up thinking about how to repel Japanese aggression and go to bed thinking about the same thing?”
Can anyone imagine JFK, in the midst of the Cuban Missile Crisis, saying “My job right now is to make sure everyone understands how concerned I am about the danger of nuclear war, and that I think about that danger a lot?”
The way an executive shows that he care about an issue is by action and by action-oriented speech, not by endless emoting.
Some years ago, I needed to send a communication to customers, and asked a woman in my customer service operation to draft it for my signature. The letter was fine, except for the saluation: “Dear valued customer.” I explained to her that the customers would know whether they were valued or not according to how we treated them, not according to business jargon, and that the salutation needed to change to a simple “Dear customer.” Someone needs to make the same point to Obama.
Although his Grqxian background would probably make such a point very difficult for him to understand.