RERUN–Ruler of the Auto Industree

Brian Deese was one of Obama’s auto-industry “Czars”….for a time he was the Czar for General Motors. He is now Deputy Director of the National Economic Council where he’s “charged with coordinating policy development on several Administration economic priorities including tax policy, financial regulation, housing, clean energy, manufacturing, and the automotive industry.”

I wrote this little song in his honor and posted it originally on 6/11/2009. To be sung to the tune of “Ruler of the Queen’s Navee.”

When I was a lad, I was smart you see
So I went to Yale to get a law degree
I studied hard and I impressed some profs
But I thought I could do better so I blew it off

(he thought he could do better so he blew it off)

I quit and went to work for Hillary’s campaign
And they were really quite impressed with my most excellent brain
When Clinton dropped out Obama wanted me
And now I rule the U.S. auto industree

(when Clinton dropped out Obama wanted he
That’s why he rules the U.S. auto industree)

I never sold cars at a dealership
And I never worked the plant on the midnight shift
Or stayed up all night a-workin’ on a car design
Or fixin’ up the flow on the assembly line

(he never even saw that old assembly line)

I became a political man you see
So now I rule the US auto industry

(a political man most grand is he
so now he rules the U.S. auto industree)

I never had to wrestle with a P&L
To prove that I could run a business really well
I never executed any sales campaigns
Or handled the logistics with the trucks and the trains

(he never had to worry with the trucks and the trains)

Instead I was chosen by the “O” you see
So now I rule the US auto industry

(Obama reached down and annointed he
so now he rules the U.S. auto industree)

Now kids everywhere if you want to succeed
I’ve got some advice that you’ll do well to heed
Don’t go into business as an entrepreneur
Cause your odds of success they’ll be increasingly poor
Just become a political man like me
And some day you too may rule the auto industree

(just become a political man like he
and you too may rule the auto industree)

Original CB comment thread here

Music, and original words to the Gilbert & Sullivan song, here.

4 thoughts on “RERUN–Ruler of the Auto Industree”

  1. Fred,

    Yeah, the British tried this back in the late 50s and 60s with autos and all over the world in this or that industry. It won’t work. Mostly, because the true customer of any organization, public or private, is the people who provides the organizations primary income. When you nationalize an industry, the industry soon begins to think of the government as its customer and source of revenue. Very quickly, the internal dynamics of the company become focused on getting more money from the government instead of competing with other companies.

    There is no substitute for market discipline. In the free market, a company, unlike the government, cannot compel customers to buy anything and therefore must become focuses on providing value for the customer or fail. Once you connect a company to the government’s violence-based coercive practices the company just stops giving a damn what the people who buy its products think and instead just try to use the government’s coercive power to extract more money from the national economy at large.

    There were a lot of other businesses that could have more effectively used the bailout money given to the auto makers and they would have saved more jobs doing so. The Democrats didn’t bail out the automakers, they bailed out the Automaker unions whose compulsive membership and forced dues are a primary source of Democratic funding and manpower. In other words, the bailout is just an extraordinarily inefficient means of converting public debt into Democrat money and power.

    Needless to say, all of this would have been unnecessary at all without the entire, “the government can get you house cheaper than what it actually cost” insane binge we went on for 30+ years. The auto bailout is just the same damn, “government can get you anything magically for free” thinking that got us in this mess in the first place.

  2. Thanks for the G&S reference. Allan Sherman did a takeoff on the same song.

    When I was a lad, I went to Yale
    And I knew then that I could never fail
    For I studied very hard and furthermore
    I polished up the apple for the professor
    (He polished up the apple for the professor)

    I polished up the apple so frequently
    That soon I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key
    (He soon had a Phi Beta Kappa key
    From polishing the apple very frequently)

    On graduation day, I made a stop
    At a very exclusive clothing shop
    I opened up a charge account and asked them for
    The best grade flannel in the clothing store
    (The best grade flannel in the clothing store)

    That suit was a part of a great intrigue
    For it proved I was a member of the Ivy League
    (It was part of a great intrigue
    For it proved he was a member of the Ivy League)

    Then I got a crew cut and a sincere tie
    And for my first job I did apply
    A job in an advertising agency
    Sharpening the pencils of a big VP
    (Oh, he honed a lot of pencils for a big VP)

    I sharpened all the pencils so pointedly
    That now I am a partner in the agency
    (He sharpened all the pencils so pointedly
    That now he is a member of the agency)

    I kept my ears open and my big mouth shut
    And I learned all the agency’s scuttlebutt
    I learned who was going out with whom
    And who had the keys to the powder room
    (And who had the keys to the powder room)

    For the keys to the powder room you see
    Is the key to the structure of the agency
    (The keys to the powder room is the key
    To the structure of the agency)

    I worked real hard for the dear old firm
    I learned most every advertising term
    I said to the men in the dark gray suits
    “Let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes”
    (Let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes)

    I ran it up the flagpole perfectly
    So now I am a partner in the agency
    (He ran it up the flagpole perfectly
    So now he is a partner in the agency)

    Now, I have a big office at the end of the hall
    With very fancy carpeting from wall to wall
    I keep my mouth open and I keep my ears shut
    And I’ve got a little palace in Connecticut
    (And he’s got a little palace in Connecticut)

    So, I thank old Yale, and I thank the Lord
    And I also thank my father who was Chairman of the Board
    (And he’s grateful to his father
    Yes, he’s grateful to his father
    Yes, he’s grateful to his father
    Who was Chairman of the Board)

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