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  • RERUN–Ruler of the Auto Industree

    Posted by David Foster on September 5th, 2012 (All posts by )

    Brian Deese was one of Obama’s auto-industry “Czars”….for a time he was the Czar for General Motors. He is now Deputy Director of the National Economic Council where he’s “charged with coordinating policy development on several Administration economic priorities including tax policy, financial regulation, housing, clean energy, manufacturing, and the automotive industry.”

    I wrote this little song in his honor and posted it originally on 6/11/2009. To be sung to the tune of “Ruler of the Queen’s Navee.”

    When I was a lad, I was smart you see
    So I went to Yale to get a law degree
    I studied hard and I impressed some profs
    But I thought I could do better so I blew it off

    (he thought he could do better so he blew it off)

    I quit and went to work for Hillary’s campaign
    And they were really quite impressed with my most excellent brain
    When Clinton dropped out Obama wanted me
    And now I rule the U.S. auto industree

    (when Clinton dropped out Obama wanted he
    That’s why he rules the U.S. auto industree)

    I never sold cars at a dealership
    And I never worked the plant on the midnight shift
    Or stayed up all night a-workin’ on a car design
    Or fixin’ up the flow on the assembly line

    (he never even saw that old assembly line)

    I became a political man you see
    So now I rule the US auto industry

    (a political man most grand is he
    so now he rules the U.S. auto industree)

    I never had to wrestle with a P&L
    To prove that I could run a business really well
    I never executed any sales campaigns
    Or handled the logistics with the trucks and the trains

    (he never had to worry with the trucks and the trains)

    Instead I was chosen by the “O” you see
    So now I rule the US auto industry

    (Obama reached down and annointed he
    so now he rules the U.S. auto industree)

    Now kids everywhere if you want to succeed
    I’ve got some advice that you’ll do well to heed
    Don’t go into business as an entrepreneur
    Cause your odds of success they’ll be increasingly poor
    Just become a political man like me
    And some day you too may rule the auto industree

    (just become a political man like he
    and you too may rule the auto industree)

    Original CB comment thread here

    Music, and original words to the Gilbert & Sullivan song, here.

     

    4 Responses to “RERUN–Ruler of the Auto Industree”

    1. nate zuckerman [Fred Lapides] Says:

      cute. but under O, there is now an auto industry….

    2. David Foster Says:

      Propping up dysfunctional companies is no way to to ensure the long-term viability of any industry. If GM had been allowed to go through normal Chapter 11 bankruptcy, it might well have survived as an independent entity; alternatively it might have been acquired at a discount price by a more competent player, such as Ford.

      Related article here:

      http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/315901/obama-s-failed-auto-bailout-michelle-malkin

    3. Shannon Love Says:

      Fred,

      Yeah, the British tried this back in the late 50s and 60s with autos and all over the world in this or that industry. It won’t work. Mostly, because the true customer of any organization, public or private, is the people who provides the organizations primary income. When you nationalize an industry, the industry soon begins to think of the government as its customer and source of revenue. Very quickly, the internal dynamics of the company become focused on getting more money from the government instead of competing with other companies.

      There is no substitute for market discipline. In the free market, a company, unlike the government, cannot compel customers to buy anything and therefore must become focuses on providing value for the customer or fail. Once you connect a company to the government’s violence-based coercive practices the company just stops giving a damn what the people who buy its products think and instead just try to use the government’s coercive power to extract more money from the national economy at large.

      There were a lot of other businesses that could have more effectively used the bailout money given to the auto makers and they would have saved more jobs doing so. The Democrats didn’t bail out the automakers, they bailed out the Automaker unions whose compulsive membership and forced dues are a primary source of Democratic funding and manpower. In other words, the bailout is just an extraordinarily inefficient means of converting public debt into Democrat money and power.

      Needless to say, all of this would have been unnecessary at all without the entire, “the government can get you house cheaper than what it actually cost” insane binge we went on for 30+ years. The auto bailout is just the same damn, “government can get you anything magically for free” thinking that got us in this mess in the first place.

    4. Gringo Says:

      Thanks for the G&S reference. Allan Sherman did a takeoff on the same song.

      When I was a lad, I went to Yale
      And I knew then that I could never fail
      For I studied very hard and furthermore
      I polished up the apple for the professor
      (He polished up the apple for the professor)

      I polished up the apple so frequently
      That soon I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key
      (He soon had a Phi Beta Kappa key
      From polishing the apple very frequently)

      On graduation day, I made a stop
      At a very exclusive clothing shop
      I opened up a charge account and asked them for
      The best grade flannel in the clothing store
      (The best grade flannel in the clothing store)

      That suit was a part of a great intrigue
      For it proved I was a member of the Ivy League
      (It was part of a great intrigue
      For it proved he was a member of the Ivy League)

      Then I got a crew cut and a sincere tie
      And for my first job I did apply
      A job in an advertising agency
      Sharpening the pencils of a big VP
      (Oh, he honed a lot of pencils for a big VP)

      I sharpened all the pencils so pointedly
      That now I am a partner in the agency
      (He sharpened all the pencils so pointedly
      That now he is a member of the agency)

      I kept my ears open and my big mouth shut
      And I learned all the agency’s scuttlebutt
      I learned who was going out with whom
      And who had the keys to the powder room
      (And who had the keys to the powder room)

      For the keys to the powder room you see
      Is the key to the structure of the agency
      (The keys to the powder room is the key
      To the structure of the agency)

      I worked real hard for the dear old firm
      I learned most every advertising term
      I said to the men in the dark gray suits
      “Let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes”
      (Let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes)

      I ran it up the flagpole perfectly
      So now I am a partner in the agency
      (He ran it up the flagpole perfectly
      So now he is a partner in the agency)

      Now, I have a big office at the end of the hall
      With very fancy carpeting from wall to wall
      I keep my mouth open and I keep my ears shut
      And I’ve got a little palace in Connecticut
      (And he’s got a little palace in Connecticut)

      So, I thank old Yale, and I thank the Lord
      And I also thank my father who was Chairman of the Board
      (And he’s grateful to his father
      Yes, he’s grateful to his father
      Yes, he’s grateful to his father
      Who was Chairman of the Board)