Humor

35 Years Ago Today

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Demolition of the Berlin Wall began.

On the 20th anniversary I wrote a parody of the Bowling for Soup song “1985” in honor of the collapse of European Communism. I seriously want someone to make a music video out of this.

Woo Hoo Hooooo!
Woo Hoo Hooooo!

Honecker built the wall
He thought that he had it all
Head of the GDR, oh
Wife’s in the Politburo
His dreams were smithereens
By October 16
He was the Number One man
What happened to his plan?

He was the head of party
He was the head of state
He shook his Commie fist
Dissidents he sealed their fates
His own SED
Is now the enemy
Miffed by his corrupt life
And nothing, has been…
All right since

Lech Walesa, and Havel
Way before Obama
There was Ronnie and Gorby
And Russians still in Hungary
The Commies from the old school
They think the change is way uncool
They’re all dissatisfied
With 19, 19, 1989

Woo Hoo Hooooo!
(1989)
Woo Hoo Hooooo!

Pozsgay read the Marxist classics
He knew every creed
“Class struggle,” “Labor theory”
“From ability to need”
But Hungary was whammed
Economy was jammed
Thought he’d try a hand
To come up with a new plan

Where’s the full stores
Like the ones in the West?
And what’s with those East German guys
And weekly unrest?
When did Polish dissidents
Get on the TV?
What ever happened
To Comintern, Five Year Plans
(In the streets were)

Walesa, and Havel
Way before Obama
There was Ronnie and Gorby
And Russians still in Hungary
The Commies from the old school
They think the change is way uncool
They’re all dissatisfied
With 19, 19, 1989

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

Ceaucescu hates these times
He wants to make it stop
“When did the Berlin Wall
Become a pile of rocks?
And tell me why did Prague
Surrender to that playwright?
Please make this stop
Stop, STOP”
[sound of rifle cocking]
“Please no more…”

Walesa, and Havel
Way before Obama
There was Ronnie and Gorby
And Russians still in Hungary
The Commies from the old school
They think the change is way uncool
They’re all dissatisfied
With 19, 19, 1989

Woo Hoo Hooooo!

Lech Walesa, and Havel
Way before Obama
There was Ronnie and Gorby
And Russians still in Hungary
The Commies from the old school
They think the change is way uncool
They’re all dissatisfied
With 19, 19, 1989

Mwen Rekòmande Panik Imedyat

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Having sensed that my public is calling: “In fair Springfield, where we lay our scene …”

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Dancing the Minnesota Walz

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I think the most purely risible, ‘laugh out loud and roll on the floor’ headline of the current presidential campaign must be this one: Tim Walz’s Masculinity Is Terrifying to Republicans

This unintentionally hilarious take has been committed by one Frances Wilkinson, in an opinion piece for the entity known as Bloomberg.com. I do not know anything about Frances Wilkinson, but will venture a couple of guesses here: one, that she doesn’t really know any Republicans personally; two, that she is as acute a judge of what constitutes masculinity-fearing-Republicans as Rachael Gunn (the notorious Raygun of the Australian Olympic breakdancing team) is of break-dancing technique; and three, who the heck is terrified by the masculinity of a guy who looks like a live-action movie version of Elmer Fudd anyway?

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The Reich Stuff

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Yesterday, Transterrestrial Musings contributed to the venerable April 1 tradition with the headline Pro-German Protesters Demand Ceasefire. That brought to mind something I’ve pondered recently: does the Third Reich seem so unique at least in part because we never had a chance to see what the Aztecs, Moghuls, ancient Mesopotamian civilizations, and other pre-industrial empires would do if they had mid-20th Century technology? I can imagine boxcars unloading people at Tenochtitlan…