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  • Miami Critical Mass

    Posted by Jonathan on March 29th, 2014 (All posts by )

    critical mass

    We stand with all right-thinking citizens in condemning the irresponsible hooligans who put on those Critical Mass bike rides that disrupt traffic for productive people. Regrettably, as it’s been a few months since we went on our last CM ride, and they just changed the clocks, we felt compelled to go again, for research purposes.

    More pics below.

    massed criticals

    they're off

    masses of asses

    on the roll

    calle ocho



    10 Responses to “Miami Critical Mass”

    1. Michael Hiteshew Says:

      My bike riding tends toward the quiet. I get enough people and crowds in my daily life. One favorite when I lived in New England was a ride I used to make from Providence to Bristol Rhode Island along Narragansett Bay. It was called The East Bay Bike Path and was about 13 miles one way. Relatively flat, the ride started on the old rocky harbor edge of Providence, through woods and small towns, creeks, sandy shores, coastal marshes, and finally into beautiful old Bristol.

      Unfortunately, the ride back was 13 miles slightly but continuously uphill the entire way. That’ll work up a sweat. Fun though. And beautifully scenic.

    2. OMMAG Says:

      Most adults who ride bicycles are flakes or outright freaks. I say most because there are some who actually work to stay in shape while minding their own damned business and enjoying themselves.

      The other side if this coin is the handful rabid agitators and the crowd that follows them. They have developed an effective methodology for getting what they want. They show up at city hall en-mass demanding their proposals be sent to review and then they will make sure that all or most of the 80 show up at the ward meetings to push their agenda. The usual turn out at a ward meeting consists of 4 or 5 reps and maybe the ward councilor plus about 10 residents. The agitators can easily out number the locals by 10 to 1 and at least 4 or 5 to one. The local meetings are hijacked by the mob of bicycle fascists who always end up succeeding in getting resolutions pushed to have their proposals tabled and voted on to to their satisfaction. Once the wards are all co-opted, the City Council has a hard time turning down the initiatives and the entire population of the city gets stuck with the bill and the consequences.

      Our city has been conned into spending tens of millions of dollars on bike lanes on major routes through the efforts of about 80 of these clowns. Thousands of people every day are now held up for the sake of satisfying a few dozen self important jerks.

    3. Javier Says:

      So you go ride and hang out with us (and say nothing to our faces) and then post our pictures just so you and your readers here can criticize us?

      Really? Now that’s ballsy, Jonathan.

      Critical Mass is controversial because it’s meant to be. The fact that you’re talking about it and posting pictures mean we’ve accomplished half of what we’re trying to do.

      You’re welcome to ride with us any time, Jonathan. And don’t feel the need to hide or pretend. We’re a friendly bunch.

      Most of us, anyway.

    4. Michael Hiteshew Says:

      self important jerks

      Speaking of which…

    5. Jonathan Says:

      I have plowed the sea.

    6. tyouth Says:

      lol, the madness of crowds? Jon, which of your disguises were you wearing?

    7. Sgt. Mom Says:

      Oh, Javi, dear – you wanted attention. Now you have got it. That it was not quite the sort of attention that you prized – of the slavishly approving sort? Well, as we used to say in the military – that is just one of life’s little tragedies.

    8. Bill Brandt Says:

      It’s people like that that make the rest of the public dislike cyclists. Both can co-exist on the road but when one thinks they own it and the hell with the other – what reaction do you expect?

    9. Dan from Madison Says:

      Well said, as usual, Sgt. Mom.

    10. Will Says:

      Everyone gets the disruption thing, most of us had teenagers. One of my favorite walks when I lived in New York was over the Brooklyn Bridge. But, there was an inherent danger in doing so…when I worked in downtown Boston, there was always that menace, every time I’m driving and I have to cross the double yellow to avoid a spandex-clad ass…

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