Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Posted by Shannon Love on March 24th, 2008 (All posts by Shannon Love)
I love that joke.
It’s very simple and elegant in form (if somewhat morbid in subject). Unlike an ordinary joke it has no setup i.e. it does not create an expectation and then break it. Classic one liners are usually just aphorisms that don’t evoke a story. They just restate something that people already believe true in an interesting way. In this joke, a single continuous sentence causes an entire scene to unfold in the listeners mind.
Can anyone think of a similar joke? I’m starting a collection.
March 24th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Other than “…or you’re happy to see me?”, nothing comes to mind…I better go get some sleep. Yaaaawn.
March 25th, 2008 at 5:09 am
“The beatings will continue until morale improves.”
March 25th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Or in a somewhat different vein: “We have secretly replaced the dilithium with Folger’s Crystals …”
March 25th, 2008 at 5:29 am
Vince Lombardi, the long ago coach of the most hated Green Bay Packers used to say “If you are not fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm”. Yes, it is a quote, but a joke at the same time. I use that one all the time here at work with my employees.
March 25th, 2008 at 8:20 am
“A fool and his goats are soon partying.”
-Noel
March 25th, 2008 at 10:02 am
How about “when did you stop beating your wife”? Or is that not a joke?
March 25th, 2008 at 10:15 am
“That’s NOT funny.”
-feminists
March 25th, 2008 at 10:31 am
“Behead those who call Islam violent”
March 25th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Give me a match. I think the gas tank’s empty.
March 25th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Jonathan:
trying it this way and that…no, still not funny.
March 25th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
“I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.” – The Immortal Yogi.
“The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.” – The Immortal Yogi.
March 25th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
Pretentious!? Moi?!!
March 25th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Maybe I should explain that my contribution hinges on the way the question is phrased rather than the content of it.
March 25th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
(mildly o/t): I’ve taken to relating jokes and leaving out the punch line. Leave it to the listener to figure out. The ones who get it laugh all the louder. The ones who don’t? Eh, not my problem.
March 25th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Husband to wife who’s caught him in bed with another woman: “Well, honey, are you going to believe me or your lying eyes?”
March 25th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Why is there so much ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
March 25th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I told you a thousand times: do not exaggerate!
March 25th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Masochist: Beat me!
Sadist: No.
March 25th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
(Supposedly, the source of the title of Eugene O’Neill’s play THE ICEMAN COMETH) Husband calling upstairs to wife, “Has the Iceman come yet?” Wife replying to husband, “No, but he’s working hard to.”
March 25th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
One more, by George Gobel, during a classic TONIGHT SHOW appearance: “Did you ever get the feeling the world is a tuxedo, and you are a pair of brown shoes?”
March 25th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
A famous British politician (Disraeli?) as he watched a despised rival walk into Parliament—
“There, but for the grace of God, goes god.”
March 25th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
March 25th, 2008 at 9:56 pm
I’ve always been partial to the rhetorical question, ie:
“Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?”
March 25th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
He had a military wedding; well, at least there were guns there.
or
In (fill in the name of the place you most wish to insult) a formal wedding is one where the shotgun is painted white.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Shannon, look no further than Steven Wright.
“Is there another word for synonym?”
“Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?”
Lastly, “I spilled spot remover on my dog. He’s gone now.”
March 26th, 2008 at 1:24 am
I was thrown out of college for cheating on my metaphysics final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. — Woody Allen
March 26th, 2008 at 10:23 am
After being called a sarcastic ass -
“I would never insult your intelligence with a sarcastic quip.” (obviously, said in a sarcastic tone)
March 26th, 2008 at 11:52 am
As a follow up to the Woody Allen one-liner: I was going to go to my metaphysics class, but then I remembered we had proved life was but a dream; so, I decided I might as well sleep in.
March 26th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
The ones I like best are really jokes about jokes:
“I have a knock-knock joke. You start.”
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “Why the long face?”
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says “What is this, some kind of joke?”
March 27th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
That place is so crowded, nobody goes there anymore.
March 28th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
How do they stick teflon to the pan?
Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
March 30th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.
You can say that to people, and start a stopwatch to measure how long it takes for them to get it.
But the question about Mrs. Lincoln still tops all of these.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:44 am
“You can’t say Texas doesn’t love you Mr. President.”
Too soon?
March 31st, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Jim Rose,
That’s a good one. It’s a perfect one sentence story.
Now if we could find one that doesn’t involved assassinating presidents.