The Belgians, of all people, now want to indict Tommy Franks for war crimes. Den Beste castigates them sufficiently that I need not belabor the merits of the issue here. The protagonist of this farce is a Belgian lawyer named Jan Fermon. (Looks like a big doof, that’s what he looks like. And all that stuff written around the picture in French makes me like him even less.)

That steamed me. I got to thinking: “Yes, I know Belgium does not really merit anyone’s attention. But this time they are yanking the Big Dog’s chain pretty hard. They are pushing it.” Then, I concluded: “Enough from Belgium. My patience is exhausted. Level the place.”

But I decided that so major a step required a little further research. Is there anything about Belgium which should cause it to be stricken from the Axis of Evil B list, and hence de-slated for eventual armed conquest by Dubya? I know about their decent beer, that did not strike me as sufficient grounds to spare them. My wrath subsided somewhat upon contemplating the visage of Miss Belgium 2003, Julie Taton. (Who looks kinda like a prettier version of Jan from the old Brady Bunch TV show.) (That shows how old Lex is.) (In fact, this whole preposterous post shows how old Lex is.) (And, Jan resemblance or not, Miss Taton is certainly cuter than that yucky lawyer, Fermon.) For purposes of this analysis, I charitably assume Miss Taton to be a fairer representative of Belgium to the world community than Fermon, at least intellectually.

OK. In light of this new information, my initial policy proposal is withdrawn.

We won’t destroy Belgium.

But that doesn’t mean they’re in the clear. They better tread lightly.

Hear that? Watch it, you guys. Yeah, you guys over there in the corner, you Belgians. Keep it down!