Speaking on conditions of anonymity, a senior White House official indicated that while President Barack Obama realizes there are problems in his relationship with us, the American people, he intends to hang in and work to make it succeed. The spokesman went on to indicate Obama feels particularly disappointed that we have not appreciated all his efforts to bring us free universal health care. He also feels we are not doing our fair share of the national work, and that 20 months after the end of the recession, we should be doing much better than 9.4% unemployment and only 64.3% civilian workforce participation. He thinks we just are not trying hard enough, and wonders how he can expect to fund green jobs, high-speed rail, and universal fast internet connections without the revenues he needs us to provide. The spokesman conceded that while Obama has run up considerable debts, it was all spent on necessities, and if we had been contributing as we should have, he could have paid for it all in cash. The spokesman went on to say that Obama was willing to give this relationship another two years, and then see where we stand. The spokesman indicated Obama was sorry to take such a hard line, but things must change.
Other White House officials, who asked not to be named, said that Obama could do much better, and did not have to settle for the people of the United States. One official mentioned that Tunisia had just left a long-term relationship, and the United Nations has always had the hots for him. Another said that Obama and France were made for each other, and we had better watch our step, and get some help for what Obama considers our electoral dysfunction.
Perceptive like all good humor. Thanks.
All good satire has to have an element of plausibility about it. Well played. Everyone in the country who is not a Chiroptera Lunarii can mentally picture White House spokes-critters saying something along this line, followed by Journo-List II praising echoing the tune.
While I prefer sending him to France, based on distance; if the UN wants him they are more than welcome, subject to moving the UN to somewhere outside our borders. Either Haiti, Gaza, or South Lebanon; all of which are monuments to UN intervention.
Subotai Bahadur
I think he has a great future on the Nobel Peace Prize selection committee. So what if he doesn’t speak Norwegian. He speaks a smattering of Austrian.
“He also feels we are not doing our fair share of the national work…” – classic.
I would comment, but the “chains” of my labor prevent me the time and energy. I’m trying to do my fair share, Mr. President!