Your Helpful Tip of the Day

Never go to Costco hungry. But if you do, a Leatherman tool works really well for cutting up the roast chicken you start eating in the parking lot. And you will be extremely grateful for that roll of paper towels you find in the trunk of your car, trust me on this.

BTW, this is why you always want to buy two chickens, to insure that at least one of them makes it home intact.

15 thoughts on “Your Helpful Tip of the Day”

  1. A very Cro-Magnon-sounding luncheon. You could not just tear the bird to bits?

    Paper towells just take off the surface grease, but leave a layer on the skin. Moist towelettes are better. If you have spent the last decade and a half wiping babies’ butts you always have them around. In fact, you keep buying them even after the last kid is out of diapers just for moments like this.

  2. Dude, I started eating before I knew about the towels. I was going to wipe my hands on the grass or something. But next time I may have some towelettes handy. Maybe an emergency stash of foam plates and picnic utensils too.

  3. The Costco birds are way-bigger than ones at Safeway! And if you didn’t have a Leatherman already, then you could have picked-up a Leatherman Core or a Wave at Costco itself. Bon apper-tite!

  4. I am a rabid Costco fan and the comments on the roasted chickens are right on. At least a pound more than those in the grocery store, at least a dollar cheaper and better flavored. Seriously. Win, win, win. And if you tear off a leg, you don’t need a Leatherman.

  5. Hmmmm.

    I have this same problem with Jimmy’s, an Italian restaurant in Asbury Park, NJ. Their pizzas are just absolutely fabulous. Last time I went there with a friend we picked up a large plain pizza and ate it all before we got 5 blocks. So we called in another order and went back. Picked it up and ate it before we got 10 blocks back to the house. So we called in another order and went back.

    This one finally made it back to the house in one piece, but that didn’t last long either.

  6. Hmmm.

    Definitely +1 on the Costco birds. It isn’t often that I buy something at Costco that I don’t like.

  7. Egads, Jonathan, you neanderthal! Time to grow up and start carrying a useful pocketknife. Hacking at a poor, defenseless roasted chicken with a multitool – tsk… tsk… Have you no shame?

    Dear Memomachine… Jimmie’s in Asbury!!!! Thanks for the memory. Haven’t been there in many years but back when I did last go there, during Asbury’s darkest days, (due to a particular category of Jimmie’s patrons) you could leave your car parked on the street outside Jimmie’s while you dined – unlocked and with your Sweetie’s pockabook on the seat and nobody would dare bother it. One of the few places in the area where the hype was well deserved. Excellent food and reasonable prices. Is it still there and is it still the same? Asbury has changed a great deal and has a number of quite good, but pricey, restaurants anymore.

  8. Oh, and to Lexington Green, there is no need to be stocking baby butt wipes in one’s car once the babies’ butts no longer need wiping. If one has paper towels (or a glovebox stash or paper napkins from some long ago foray into a rest area for a Cinnabun) one need merely squirt a splash or three of windshield washer fluid onto the paper towel. Might be a bit harsh for a baby’s butt but should have no ill effects on growed man what just took a leatherman to a chicken in a parking lot.

    Now, mind you, this would all be nothing more than a suggestion were there womenfolk nearby. But clearly Jonathan does not suffer from the effects of nearby womenfolk or his chicken would have made it home and into the kitchen intact where he could have employed a proper carving tool to the task.

  9. greasy hands on steering wheel, lowering the haunch from oncoming drivers so as not to appear an animal…..we should form a club

    the shame, the shame

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