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  • I Won’t Ask My Maiden Aunt to Knit Me One of These

    Posted by James R. Rummel on April 17th, 2008 (All posts by )

    Ever feel a bit chilly while you type away at the keyboard?

    I do every so often. But then I just turn the heat up a little and let the furnace perform the function for which it was designed. After all, I’m not living in an electricity free yurt on the wind swept steppes.

    But I can’t control the temperature if I’m visiting a public place, nor can I safeguard my privacy if someone should decide to look over my shoulder while I’m blogging on my laptop at my local shooting range which has a wifi hotspot. But artist Rebecca Stern has a solution.

    knitpron.jpg

    This is something that she knit for her own use, and it doesn’t appear that she is marketing them. So you are out of luck if you are desperate to appear in public as if you have your head inserted into a cow’s orange rectum.

    For the record, I would never be caught dead in something like that. It would destroy my situational awareness, something that is a Cardinal sin for anyone interested in self defense. But, more importantly, I certainly don’t want to give anyone yet another reason to have a laugh at my expense.

     

    13 Responses to “I Won’t Ask My Maiden Aunt to Knit Me One of These”

    1. sol vason Says:

      that is a see-through knit with a 360 hidden camera and she is well armed. There is a ninja sitting next to her.

    2. Jonathan Says:

      I just use my Cone of Silence, which I upgraded by covering it with aluminum foil. Now no one even notices me. It’s like I’m invisible!

    3. James R. Rummel Says:

      Now no one even notices me. It’s like I’m invisible!

      I’ve told you before, just because people won’t make eye contact doesn’t mean that you are invisible!

      James

    4. Robert Schwartz Says:

      It’s a chick thing. When we watch the evening news, my wife wraps a down comforter around herself and complains about how cold she is.

    5. Shannon Love Says:

      I don’t know, there have been times were I was so desperate to get some cognitively intensive work done in public that I would have resorted to this.

      It seems like perfect geekwear, it accomplishes a functional purpose but looks absolutely stupid.

    6. Jonathan Says:

      It seems like perfect geekwear, it accomplishes a functional purpose but looks absolutely stupid.

      It also advertises to everyone that the wearer is unaware of his surroundings and a geek who probably wants everyone to know that he is a geek. Better to sit with your back to the wall or use one of those privacy screens that reduces the viewing angle of your LCD. For blocking external stimuli, ear plugs are more effective and don’t attract attention.

    7. Tatyana Says:

      …besides, she didn’t allow for increased volume of the head – beginner’s mistake.

      when I was just beginning to learn knitting,I had creations like this manufactured by a dozen: somehting that started as one thing, transformed into another, and got renamed to save grace – but wasn’t fooling anyone.

    8. Jonathan Says:

      This thing looks like it started out as a neck warmer for giraffes.

    9. Mike Doughty Says:

      It’s perfect for liberals.

    10. Jay Manifold Says:

      Wasn’t there a scene like this in Alien?

      Seriously, Shannon’s remark about “perfect geekware” is dead on. I can easily imagine amateur astronomers donning something like this in the field to keep the light from their laptops, etc, from messing up anyone else’s night vision. Though the amateur astronomical version would probably be black nylon rather than knit out of orange and tan wool.

    11. James R. Rummel Says:

      “I can easily imagine amateur astronomers donning something like this in the field to keep the light from their laptops, etc, from messing up anyone else’s night vision.”

      Interestingly enough, there have been hoods used by photographers to develop film in the field since pretty much forever. Here is an example I found at the excellent Popular Mechanics blog, and it dates from 1924.

      But that product wasn’t made of yarn, of course.

      James

    12. Mike Wilson Says:

      A couple years ago there was a bit of buzz about an (of course) Japanese product which was very similar. I’ve been trying to find a reference to it but, well… what would YOU google?

    13. G Says:

      You needn’t be worried about embarrassing yourself by being seen in public wearing this, though. Most likely no one will recognize you!