Quote of the Day

3 thoughts on “Quote of the Day”

1. Rebelling against your parents is easy. They are old and tired. Rebelling against your peers requires some exertion. But it is worth the effort.

2. I would argue that teenage rebellion is a completely natural and necessary stage of development. I would even go so far as to say we’re biologically wired for it.

   Consider:

   Age 0-5
   We’re almost incapable of caring for ourselves. We need to be physically fed or later have the food gathered and prepared for us.

   Age 6-12
   We can now identify foods, prepare them to some degree and feed ourselves. We can dress appropriately. We can function autonomously for many hours at a stretch without adult assitance. We explore and develop a basic understanding the environment and society beyond our immediate home.

   Age 12-15
   Sexual maturity begins. We are increasingly capable of disciplined and rational behavior, though lacking much experience, we often make bad decisions. This a key learning phase.

   Age 15-17
   We begin experiencing long periods of time interacting with society away from the direct oversight of our parents. We are “trying on” adultness, making more decisions based on our own rationalizations as opposed to blindly following the dictates of our parents. This is the beginning of rebellion as many parents see it and experience it.

   It is normal and necessary. Young adults need to shepherded through this period, not beaten down, yet not given carte blanche either. It’s a fine line but one a parent needs to learn to walk. Young adults are now old enough and autonomous enough to get themselves into serious trouble but too inexperienced and naive to stay out of it. This is a tough period for everyone. They want to – and need to – learn to make decisions for themselves and you want to – and need to – keep them from doing serious harm to themselves and their future. This is a key learning and transition period for both parents and their children.

   You, as the parent, are moving from the function of overseer (drill sargeant, if you will) to the role of advisor and mentor. I would argue that not all parents seem to be adept at making the transition and blame their children for all the resulting conflict. Go carefully. Remember this is just a phase, a transition to adulthood. Keep them from doing serious damage to themselves and ride out the rest. If you’ve been a good parent, taught them well and have just a smidgeon of luck, they’ll come through fine. And so will you.

   Age 18-21
   The true beginning of genuinely autonomous adulthood. Let’s hope by now you’ve helped them to learn how to make good decisions. Now is a terrible time to begin that learning.

3. I’d say it’s more a matter of humans being in general wired to put forth little effort to control themselves in an environment where responsible behavior doesn’t shorten your sentence and irresponsible behavior results in someone else covering your losses and damages.

   Makes a lot more sense to be than the idea that humans are biologically wired to spend several of their childbearing years unable to properly raise children or even to safely wander off without a keeper. How in the world would that have gotten selected for?

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