“We have not released giant badgers in Basra, and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the Shatt al-Arab river,” Major David Gell told reporters.
Cue the Monty Python references.
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Damn! I thought I’d be the first to break out the news here!
There are hilarious threads on the subj rolling around.
In my LJ buddy-list, someone linked to the Russian news agency Lenta.ru’ interpretation of the story (since corrected), where the journalist combined Iran+Iraq into one “Islamic Republic”; implied that current Iran authorities neglect their duties and better look at Saddam Hussein as an example, because at his time he had ordered to dry up the swamps north of Basra where the monsters came from; quoted a local farmer as witnessing giant badger tear a cow to pieces, then escaped into orchids bushes (in Australian Sunday Telegraph‘ original, “an orchard”), and added a story (came from Iranian news agencies, naturally) about 14 squirrels, packed with surveillance equipment and sent to Iran by the British, to spy.
Who needs the Onion?
Other, non-Russian, threads, do not disappoint: in comments section to Youtube video people condemn, in all seriousness, our war in Iraq for stepping so low as to employ such despicable tactics. Says one Nominay: “If there’s anyone left who thinks we can win the war in Iraq, this ought to take care of that – it’s come down to badgers? This is ridiculous.”
Oj.
Wait. Just a minute: If you’re the police, where are your badgers?
Badgers? We ain’t got no badgers. We don’t need no badgers. I don’t have to show you any stinking badgers.
We have not released giant badgers in Basra, and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the Shatt al-Arab river,”
Yes but we would say that if we were wouldn’t we?
Just wait. Soon, we will unleash the dreaded chupacabra; the hoop snake, which can overtake an Olympic champion; the bloodthirsty jackalope; and those invisible or black snakes which I told my little brother lived under his bed and would surely inflict a fatal bite if he set his foot on the floor before daybreak drove the horrible things back to their holes. The bad guys will piss their pants so abundantly as to drown, even before our genetically-engineered monsters devour them.
Mmmwwwuuaaahhhaahhaaahhhaa!
I don’t think MEMRI publishes any of the absurd things that get published in many Arabic newspapers, but it should. No source of information is as widespread or as trusted as the rumor mill.