The Stupidest Man on the Face of the Earth…

… Must be the LGTBYTUVXYZ activist and alleged Christian minister who bought a specially-decorated cake from the Whole Foods store in Austin, and tried to claim that a disparaging message had been iced upon it. The shock, the horror and all of this devastating experience (Devastating, I tell you!) led him to post at length on YouTube, hire a mouthpiece and alert The Media! Very shortly afterwards. So shortly, I reckon it was done at something close to light-speed as the social media cycle goes these days.

Sigh. This in Austin, and at Whole Foods. I can only guess that an HEB bakery counter was just too infra dig, and any Christian-owned bakeries were just too damn far out in the suburbs, and like ick! Straight and white people cooties! Like – he would have to have driven simply miles to have found a commercial bakery outlet which would have delivered a product absolutely guaranteed to live up to all those sweaty social justice warrior fantasies. So pick on Whole Foods … where a video rundown of the staff likely would have looked like the sequence of Roger de Bris’ stage crew in the remake of The Producers.

Brilliant, guy – simply brilliant. And Whole Foods is going to sue; all props to them for not caving.

There may be real hate crimes being perpetuated in these somewhat United States, but anyone paying attention to news reports of them usually must conclude that if they have not been faked outright by the so-called victim, it’s some curious circumstance that has been wildly misinterpreted by hysterics. Discuss.

24 thoughts on “The Stupidest Man on the Face of the Earth…”

  1. LGTBYTUVXYZ activist turns out to be a hysterical, lying, attention seeking drama queen, lacking anything like a moral compass or sense of decency or sense of responsibility. I’m so shocked. However, as soon as this blows over Brandeis University will offer him a dept head job.

  2. Remember though, lying is not an issue for Red/Green as it can be for their chief adversary. By any means necessary said some famous cat, raising awareness and all that. Whole Foods CEO is not completely on board with the program, and perhaps by attempting to save their reputation via this lawsuit they’ll expose a flank?

    Pure speculation of course, but Big Gay got long arms:

  3. It’s to the point that whenever and wherever I read about some distasteful exhibit – like this cake thing, or nasty notes left on restaurant receipts – I make a bet with myself on how many days it will be before it is proved to be a fraud, and perpetuated by the so-called victim on a quest for massive sympathy or monetary reward.
    Usually, it’s three days. And I’m still shaking my head over him targeting the Austin Whole Foods. Really. Didn’t even begin to pass the smell test. I hope they sue him until he’s begging for money with a cardboard sign by a downtown intersection.

  4. “Whole Foods is going to sue; all props to them for not caving”: exactly. I hope that Whole Foods will take advantage of the Scotus decision that corporations should in many ways be treated as people, and run for President. It’s not too late.

  5. We could do worse than that, Dearie. Ooops, we may have already. ;-)
    While Whole Foods is insufferably virtuous as well as being terribly expensive and precious … they do offer very high-quality items and excellent service. (Hyacinth Bucket would shop there, exclusively!) Their employees seem to be very happy to be working there and the whole corporation seems to be very well run, over-all.

  6. Their rotisserie chickens are good.
    We used to buy the ones at Costco for $5. They seemed to be getting bigger and bigger over the years, and at first we were impressed with the great deal. Then it slowly dawned on us that chickens are not supposed to resemble pterodactyls. We decided it would be best to pay a few dollars extra to get a real species instead of the Schwarzeneggeresque varieties.

  7. You have to be careful because the children in Whole Foods have mostly not been vaccinated, at least in the LA area.

    I hope they have that hand cleaner at the front doors.

    Don’t let the little bastards sneeze on you, either. That’s how chicken pox spreads. Small pox too, but only ISIS has any smallpox cultures now.

  8. We’ve gone to Whole Foods now and again, shopping for a special meal – or as a treat for ourselves. It’s a nice place, but Trader Joes’ is very much more affordable for the same kind of thing.

    I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Mr. Reverend Obscenity-iced Cake thought that Grocery Virtue Central would be a perfect place to play his little hoax upon. You know, if you are going to unleash a whopper of a lie on the world at large, one ought to think first about making it believable…

  9. This guy did real damage to the store and good for them for not rolling over. I really am getting sick of this stuff. Small businesses and restaurants are going after yelp too for the same reasons.

  10. I agree about Trader Joe’s. They have the best sauerkraut around.
    Whole Foods also agrees because they are opening smaller, cheaper stores to compete with them.

    A possible motivation of the frivolous fringe to attack Whole Foods could be their hatred for CEO John Mackey and his brand of libertarianism

    And he’s no stranger to controversy. In the past few years, he has been outspoken about a range of issues, with views that at times might seem surprising for the chief of a grocery chain with a progressive image. He has likened unions to herpes (“it doesn’t kill you, but it’s unpleasant and inconvenient”), said that the Affordable Care Act is “like fascism” and called climate change “perfectly natural and not necessarily bad.”

  11. I used to stop at Whole Foods for my morning muffin. At $2 is was big and high quality so a relative value.

    Then the company announced they were going to buy all their electricity from windmills and solar panels.

    Suddenly, the muffin price jumped to $2.25.

    Coincidence? I think not.

  12. After seeing that video it seems the ‘Reverend” was trying to get some money to build his church.

    Glad all of the nuts aren’t just in California.

  13. Glad all of the nuts aren’t just in California.

    Austin was a refuge for insanity even when I was in college at UT back in the late 1970’s.

  14. Whole Foods, known locally as “Whole Paycheck”. We don’t often visit because it’s rather easy to walk out the door with one bag containing a few items and a hundred dollar receipt.

    But wait, there’s more:

    Given the reemergence of the radical left and all it’s nasty machinations, perhaps it’s a good time for a second look at the past, go back, way back, fifties, sixties…heresy, I know, but revisionism is all the rage it seems.

  15. The key to shopping at Whole Foods is the opposite of regular grocery stores. At the regular store you stay out of the middle aisles because that’s the food that will kill you. At Whole Foods you stay away from the perimeter because that’s the food that will bankrupt you. The store brand, 365, has lots of items in the aisles. Those are often on sale and not unreasonably priced.

  16. There may be real hate crimes being perpetuated in these somewhat United States

    Yes, but the victims are of disfavored races. The stories are one-day news items in section B of the newspaper.

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