The ice storm that clipped both KC and Chicago today, coming as it does after several days of nasty weather, has a lot of us holed up inside and thinking wintry thoughts. We might wonder how the natives of one of the climatically harshest places on Earth deal with it. Or, perhaps, deel with it. So, after considering for a moment whether any other blog can provide puns in Mongolian, graze (Midwesterners [and Mongolians] don’t surf) on over to NYCMongol.com for all your clothing and shelter needs for when you “steppe out.” For those Chicagoan, er, Siberian winters, there’s the cotton quilted deel for a mere C-note-and-a-half, and don’t forget to pick up a pair of (somewhat more steeply priced) boots. Shelter? Get yer yurt right here. You’ll fit right in when our horde (another Mongolian-derived word) of genetically-engineered Temujin-class warriors conquers the world.
Or just pick up a few books. Whatever.
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10 thoughts on “KHANNNNN! (another member of a continuing series)”
We might wonder how the natives of one of the climatically harshest places on Earth deal with it.
In terms of variability and extremes of temperature the harshest climate on earth can be found, well, in America east of the Rockies.
95% of all tornados that occur over land happen in North America and the storms that give birth to them are common. That’s not counting hurricanes. The lowest barometric pressure recorded on earth occurred over the great lakes as well as some of the largest and fastest snow falls.
Thomas Sowell once observed that the weather in North America is so consistently inconsistent and nasty that if America was a poor nation, we would undoubtedly point to the weather as the cause of the poverty.
I think our Mongol-derived clone warrior armies will not fight in deels, but in diamandoid hoplite armor. Perhaps they will have embroidered deels for dress uniforms.
I like the yurt concept, though I am skeptical about yurt durability in America’s swampier regions, including much of the South and East and the Pacific Northwest coast. And I suppose the Midwest too, some of the time. Though I think yurts could work pretty well in places like the Dakotas and maybe Colorado. But maybe the Mongolian yurt entrepreneurs should do more to adapt their product to the American market, perhaps by squaring the shape, offering optional wheels, optional fiberglass covering to suit America’s difficult climatic conditions, and also changing the sizing options to small, medium, large and double-wide.
Someday I’m going to write a post presenting one of my sociological theories, which is that — as Jonathan somewhat subtly alludes — there is a global redneck culture. Just listen for twangy/thumpy music, look for luridly decorated dwellings/vehicles (sometimes combined), and note the personal weapons and use of intoxicants (composite bows and fermented mares’ milk in this case, shotguns in pickups and various hard liquors closer to home). And hats. There’s always some kind of hat.
Interesting assertion re: central North American weather by Shannon … a bit of Googling finds Mongolian temperatures ranging from -56°C to +44°C = -69°F to +111°F, vs coterminous northern-US records of -57°C to +49°C = -70°F to +121°F (cold spot in Montana, hot spot in North Dakota; all numbers rounded to nearest full digit).
Confirming that our ordu will be allowed to dress up in spiffy deels once they have completed their assigned pillaging. Presumably white cotton trimmed in maroon.
“…a global redneck culture…”
I like this. You are onto something.
“Presumably white cotton trimmed in maroon.”
Yes, that will work for the dress uniform.
We need T-shirts.
T-shirts that say “KHANNNNN!,” or T-shirts that say “ChicagoBoyz,” or T-shirts that announce our intended method of world conquest, or T-shirts that, whatever they say, effectively identify us as rednecks?
T-Shirt 1: ChicagoBoyz Arsenal of Democracy, featuring our weapons
T-Shirt 2: ChicagoBoyz portraits, Friedman, Stigler, Fermi, Spiro
T-Shirt 3: Global Rednecks, showing Mongol with his yurt and bow, hillbilly with his cabin and shotgun, modern Jacksonian with Harley and Glock.
One of the history guys in the coffee room believes in a clean line between rednecks and white trash; he’s doing research. Is that, too, international? (My limited observation is that the line isn’t all that clear, not unlike between those who don’t touch liquor and those who drink quite a bit in Ireland.)
Jay Manifold may be right, but looking at that word tells us so much – our connection with the Brits, religion, music, politics, attitude, geography, culture, belligerence, independence, food.
And thirty-six years out, I still miss sleet and blizzards and icy streets. Weather doesn’t have to be sweet to be loved.
Lex, the Modern Mongol is armed with an SKS.
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