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  • New! – Your Vaguely Stressed-Out Middle Class Post-20th Century Haikus

    Posted by Jonathan on September 21st, 2018 (All posts by )

    Bless our New Age friends!
    You need cancer remedies,
    They suggest. . . massage.


    It’s the Age of Waze:
    Rush hour turns across traffic,
    Third World risk taking.


    Windows networking –
    Still a huge pain in the ass.
    Some things never change.


    Turns out your girlfriend
    Ran an asset search on you.
    Time to hit the road?


    Many news websites
    No longer allow comments.
    They can’t take the heat.


    Meet the new Gmail –
    No one knows why they changed it.
    The kids are in charge.


    You tell your doctor:
    “Send Doctor X the report.”
    It never happens.


    Behold, Cuisinart.
    The motor lasts forever.
    The bowl? Joke’s on you.


    Microsoft updates:
    Your fancy new computer
    Isn’t so fast now.


    Living on the edge
    Once meant cocaine, LSD. . .
    Now: carbs and Advil.


    Feel free to add your contributions in the comments.


    11 Responses to “New! – Your Vaguely Stressed-Out Middle Class Post-20th Century Haikus”

    1. Grurray Says:

      When guns, germs, and steel
      Ruminations turn into
      God, guns, and the flag

    2. Lexington Green Says:

      Made turkey chili.
      It came out pretty decent.
      But I made too much.

    3. Jonathan Says:

      Chili’s like money:
      You can never have too much.
      Take that to the bank.

    4. Anonymous Says:

      So, turns out chili
      Is better the second day,
      Same as stew or soup.

    5. raymondshaw Says:

      turkey chili puke
      you will never clean that couch
      take it to the dump

    6. Anonymous Says:

      Ha ha you’re so wrong
      My turkey chili is good
      And you won’t get any

    7. Gringo Says:

      For those without means
      Chili meatless but with beans
      Texas heretic

    8. Gringo Says:

      Hoover strawberries
      Pinto beans in the 30s
      Food for rich or poor

    9. Gringo Says:

      More food from the thoughtless:
      Tasteless tortillas
      Without any corn flavor
      Only with the name

    10. Gringo Says:

      Google overlords
      Make money from our data
      Tell us what to think

    11. Anonymous Says:

      Use smoked turkey —
      Texture is almost ham-like,
      white beans, chicken stock

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