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  • New! – Your Vaguely Stressed-Out Middle Class Post-20th Century Haikus

    Posted by Jonathan on September 21st, 2018 (All posts by )

    Bless our New Age friends!
    You need cancer remedies,
    They suggest. . . massage.

    —-

    It’s the Age of Waze:
    Rush hour turns across traffic,
    Third World risk taking.

    —-

    Windows networking –
    Still a huge pain in the ass.
    Some things never change.

    —-

    Turns out your girlfriend
    Ran an asset search on you.
    Time to hit the road?

    —-

    Many news websites
    No longer allow comments.
    They can’t take the heat.

    —-

    Meet the new Gmail –
    No one knows why they changed it.
    The kids are in charge.

    —-

    You tell your doctor:
    “Send Doctor X the report.”
    It never happens.

    —-

    Behold, Cuisinart.
    The motor lasts forever.
    The bowl? Joke’s on you.

    —-

    Microsoft updates:
    Your fancy new computer
    Isn’t so fast now.

    —-

    Living on the edge
    Once meant cocaine, LSD. . .
    Now: carbs and Advil.

    —-

    Feel free to add your contributions in the comments.
     

     

    11 Responses to “New! – Your Vaguely Stressed-Out Middle Class Post-20th Century Haikus”

    1. Grurray Says:

      When guns, germs, and steel
      Ruminations turn into
      God, guns, and the flag

    2. Lexington Green Says:

      Made turkey chili.
      It came out pretty decent.
      But I made too much.

    3. Jonathan Says:

      Chili’s like money:
      You can never have too much.
      Take that to the bank.

    4. Anonymous Says:

      So, turns out chili
      Is better the second day,
      Same as stew or soup.

    5. raymondshaw Says:

      turkey chili puke
      you will never clean that couch
      take it to the dump

    6. Anonymous Says:

      Ha ha you’re so wrong
      My turkey chili is good
      And you won’t get any

    7. Gringo Says:

      For those without means
      Chili meatless but with beans
      Texas heretic

    8. Gringo Says:

      Hoover strawberries
      Pinto beans in the 30s
      Food for rich or poor

    9. Gringo Says:

      More food from the thoughtless:
      Tasteless tortillas
      Without any corn flavor
      Only with the name

    10. Gringo Says:

      Google overlords
      Make money from our data
      Tell us what to think

    11. Anonymous Says:

      Use smoked turkey —
      Texture is almost ham-like,
      white beans, chicken stock