When I’m in Arizona for Halloween, as I was this year, the night is always a blast. Most of the houses in the neighborhood were in action and there was a great street presence both in terms of yard decorations and people (both kids and adults) in costume.
However, the big talk in the neighborhood among the adults is always about the candy. Everyone has their favorite and each has their own way of getting it.
Mark Antonio Wright writes, in The Top Three Candies to Steal from Your Kid’s Halloween Bag, his thoughts on the subject.
His top three candies to steal?
1) Twix and Snickers
2) Sour gummy candy
3) Twizzlers
His bottom three candies?
1) Milky Way
2) Candy Corn
3) Swedish Fish
This might be one of the few times since the Bush Administration that I have actually agreed with something in The National Review, though I would amend his list by removing Twizzlers and replacing it with the 100 Grand Bar. Furthermore I would remove Milky Way from the bottom and replace it with Dum-Dums.
Yes, I am old enough to remember actually getting candy cigarettes in my bag. When I told the kids about this they were horrified.
However, as far as a means of getting your hands on the sweet stuff, yes, much like Wright we would loot the kids’ bags while they were sleeping.
When they got older and they started to catch on, we had to up our game. So we taught them about taxation and tariff policy, by deducting an immediate 20% of all candy brought into the house with an extra 5% surcharge on chocolate and gummies. I would also teach them how to play cards and we would use their candy as chips. Good times.
Maybe there’s a treatise waiting to be written modeling government on parents and their kids’ Halloween candy; after all, just like we would take the candy and have the kids think they were getting something out of the experience, isn’t the government doing the same with you and taxes?
Twix all the way. Followed by Reese’s cups. Maybe KitKat in last place. There are no others.