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  • The Democratic Candidates Debate

    Posted by Jonathan on October 30th, 2007 (All posts by )

    Somehow I found myself watching part of it. This is how it looked to me:

    Hillary: I have always been against the war, and as soon as I am elected we will begin withdrawing our troops. Except for a few troops who may be needed to guard our embassy. Oh, and fight Al Qaeda. Not more than 150,000 troops, tops. And no more warmongering like what President Bush is always doing. Oh yeah, Iran had better not try anything funny. But if they do, it’ll be President Bush’s fault for not being nice to them. And as for those wascally Iwanians, I promise to promise to consider to do my very best. Maybe.

    Obama: I am more against the war than you are. Did I say war? What war? Don’t let the neocons fool you with their fearmongering. Remember, the USA can only remain strong by ignoring threats. For us to recognize those threats would be like forfeiting a game of chicken, and we would lose our national manhood. And even though we have no enemies, I pledge to negotiate with them. Except Pakistan, which I would treat differently, though I’m not quite sure how.

    Richardson: You wimps couldn’t negotiate your way out of a paper bag. I have more negotiating experience than all of you put together. I was at the UN. I negotiated with Saddam Hussein. I got an American freed from Abu Ghraib [BZZZZT AH-OO-GAH BUSH DIVE DIVE DIVE CHENEY HALLIBURTON AAIIIIIEEEEEEE]. I’ll negotiate with Iran. I’ll negotiate with the North Vietnamese, the Khmer Rouge, Idi Amin, the Mafia. . .

    Biden: I have vast international experience. For example, I’ll bet none of you has ever plagiarized a speech from a non-US politician.

    Dodd: I helped make Latin America safe for communism!

    Kucinich: If elected, I will obey UN and EU commands, which supersede US presidential authority — and possibly even Martian authority, which I value more than any of you may realize. Also, I will visit Iran and convince the Iranians to give up nuclear power because it’s bad for the environment. If things go really well, maybe I can get them to give up smoking too. By the way, have you seen my wife? I may be a complete idiot but you have to admit I do OK with the ladies.

    Edwards: The Great War, which was entirely George Bush’s fault and which wiped out a generation, was so awful that we must not let anything like it happen ever again. Republican plans for war against a peaceful Germany are a grave threat to world peace and must be stopped. I am prepared to meet Mr. Hitler without preconditions, so that we may negotiate a new treaty to outlaw war and preserve the peace.

    (I think the candidates discussed other topics as well, but for some reason I didn’t watch the whole thing.)

     

    10 Responses to “The Democratic Candidates Debate”

    1. GUYK Says:

      BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    2. joseph hill Says:

      easy enough to belittle. But let us exame the Bush record. Not enough? Look at the GOP candidates and what they have said and then said in an opposite manner. I happen to care for a country whbere the rule of law prevails and is not set aside by the president and rampled over by a GOP congress. Mock on. But can you now tell us how to make things better. Or what you would do about Iran and Iraq? After all, Iran was held in check by Saddam till we gave Iran control over the entire region by a useless war that is not going to be settled because of warring religious factions, unable to come to any sort of agreement. And we have no plans to pull out, fully. If we did we would not be building a huge base there. After all, we have bases–can you count them?–throughout the world, and this will be but one more for us all to pay for.

    3. Vince P Says:

      *Eyes roll*

    4. capitano Says:

      Hillary: NY Gov. Spitzer’s proposal to give drivers licenses to illegal immigrants…”makes a lot of sense.” Oh, and it’s George Bush’s fault there are undocumented workers.

      Dodd: Driving is a privilege, not a right so they should not have drivers licenses.

      Hillary: “Well I didn’t say it made sense. This is a gotcha question”…followed by more shrill nonsense.

      *********

      Hillary Supporters: But, but, but … the Religious Right and Rudy and 3 divorces and gay friends….

      *********

      No, it’s about core values and answering questions forthrighly vs. poll-tested sound bites and shifty-a**ed waffling.

    5. Tatyana Says:

      Thank you, Jonathan, I needed a good laugh this morning.

    6. Jonathan Says:

      You’re welcome. I wish the Dem candidates were not so easy to make fun of.

    7. w sol vason Says:

      The trully terrifying thing is that one of the current democratic or one of the current republican candidates is going to be the next President.

      Given the way the primaries are structured there is no hope left for U.S.

    8. joseph hill Says:

      I believe that voters on the left or on the right will never be well served so long as interest groups and lobby groups make or break legislation. James Madison was aware of this potential problem but thought the solution might be worse than what might be. He was wrong, it seems. Case in point: Rockefeller, a staunch senator claiming to be strongly in favor of privacy etc went along with the Bush plan to allow phone companies to be exempt for having possibly broken the laws. Rocky voted in behalf of the
      Bush approach simply because lots of money came into his political coffers from phone companies.And that show what trumps what in American politics.

    9. Jonathan Says:

      I don’t think there is anything wrong with interest groups, money or lobbying. They are fundamental in our system of government. The problem is that our government at all levels has grown big, powerful and intrusive. Now every group with something to lose has no choice but to play the game, by lobbying and paying protection money in the form of campaign contributions, to avoid being victimized by legislative or regulatory caprice or by competitors who also play the game.

    10. vivictius Says:

      How do you get rid of intrest groups anyhow? Make it illegal for people with a common intrest talk to their representatives or vote?