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  • Important Tests

    Posted by Jonathan on March 2nd, 2005 (All posts by )

    Chicagoboyz readers are encouraged to take these important tests!

    How Metrosexual Are You? *

    Engrish Test

    *17%, if you must know.


    20 Responses to “Important Tests”

    1. Lex Says:

      12%. Says I’ll never get married. Ha. Tell that to Mrs. Lex. I suppose I have become completely unmarriageable since I got married. I think this is common.

    2. Captain Mojo Says:

      Hah! 6% and the test claims I will never find a decent woman.

      This is hardly surprising, as I can usually be found in my boxers, sitting on a horribly stained lay-z-boy, watching old episodes of Benny Hill while eating a fried peanut butter-banana sandwich and drinking cheap domestic beer.

      I tell ya, life doesn’t get much better!

    3. incognito Says:

      10%. “Metro what? Git off my lawn. Here is some advice. STOP BUYING YOUR CLOTHS AT WAL-MART!!!! You will never land a decent woman unless you shave that nasty facial hair, and spend more then $5 on a haircut.”

      Proud of it you wuss. (person who wrote this test)

    4. Chris Says:

      7% and that was being liberal with a few choices…

      also claimed I will never find a decent woman…
      I’ll have to let my wife of 11 years know that..

      interestingly..I played with trying to get the highest rating I could and all other answers being the same, changing the “are you gay?” from “no” to “yes” LOWERED the metro rating….hmmmm…ok…

      In my book, there is no such thing as metrosexual..only guys that don’t know they are gay yet…

    5. Jonathan Says:

      Oh fiddlesticks. As the high scorer (so far) I am proud to be so in touch with my feminine side. In fact I feel positively musical. Of course, a few different questions — say, “I cut my hair with a bowl” or “I generally only put on pants if I have to meet someone” — and the outcome might have been different.

    6. Andy B Says:

      Fear not, dear Jonathan, I scored a 26%. I think you low scorers all have poor hygiene or else you regularly lie on silly tests.

    7. Tyouth Says:

      ha ha you’re a bunch of slobs (except for that fop Andy) I got 14%.

      Looked at the English test; Not sure what “thanking the crank” is….anyone?

    8. Mitch Says:

      11%. I don’t get it. I know more show tunes than almost any other straight guy. Just because I told the girl at Great Cuts “I don’t care if you set it on fire; just get it out of my eyes!”

    9. Jonathan Says:

      Andy, we must go shopping some time.

    10. Signifying Nothing Says:


      I am a lousy 15% metrosexual. (þ: ChicagoBoyz)

    11. aaron Says:


      Too much product? Any product is too much. I do need so decent clothes, but need a raise first.

    12. Ken Says:

      “Too much product? Any product is too much. ”

      Well, if by “product” they mean “shampoo”, then you definitely need to use some. Otherwise, no.

    13. Andy the fop Says:

      I blame my wife. After 10 years and 3 kids, she still makes fun of the clothes I used to wear before we were married.

    14. LotharBot Says:

      4% metrosexual.

      and I live in Seattle.

    15. Ted Seay Says:

      9%, a guaranteed new low for the career Foreign Service…


    16. Steve Says:

      Darn, 38% here.
      Better than a third!

      Don’t raz me, fellas. I’m a sensitive guy.

    17. Captain Mojo Says:

      What a bunch of freaking pansies! (with the exception of LotharBot. I salute you sir.) Gentlemen, please report to your local hooters where we will begin your forced reeducation. Uniform will be plaid shirts and slightly stained sweatpants.

      Actually, it is somewhat amusing that Lothar and myself, the two lowest scorers so far, are both in Seattle, perhaps the third or fourth most wussy city in the country…

    18. Jonathan Says:

      I think you fellas with the low scores are hiding something. Me, I revel in my metrosexual side. My metrosexual side is bigger than your metrosexual side.

    19. Captain Mojo Says:

      Ok, considering that I haven’t gone on a real date since sometime in the early Triassic, I’ll grant your metroswagger may have some validity Jonathan. :)

    20. Tyouth Says:

      It boggles my mind.

      I know how I am and how I live (and got 14% here) and belive me, I ain’t no Cary Grant. The scores being reported make me think me that I may not be as rough hewn as I thought.

      (Maybe distaff propganda that gives me that illusion?)