New! – Your Florida Driving Tips

-Drive slow in the fast lane? Yes, you can!

-If you maintain a speed of at least 120 MPH while weaving through highway traffic on your motorcycle, other vehicles will appear to be standing still, making it easier for you to maneuver around them.

-Hills are rare. Savor them. Slow down to 15 under the limit on any bridge or elevated express lane. The drivers behind you won’t mind as they will now be able to enjoy the view themselves.

-In terms of blocking traffic you get the best bang for your buck driving slowly in the middle of a three-lane road.

-Anticipate highway exits by slowing down several miles in advance.

-ABT: Always Be Texting!

-Signaling turns is a bourgeois concept. However, you will not lose any points if you signal briefly and then drift languidly into the next lane without looking.

-If a motorist ahead of you is signalling to enter your lane do not under any circumstances let him in.

-Traffic circles are the work of the devil. Take no chances. Stop and wait at least ten seconds before you enter a circle, even if there are no vehicles in it.

-Tap your brakes randomly while cruising in heavy traffic. Other drivers will respect you for doing this.

-Try to swing through as many lanes as possible after you turn right onto a major road. Take your time getting up to speed.

-Be safe! Slow down to make or answer phone calls, and maintain a distance of at least one hundred feet between your car and the vehicle ahead. Also, be sure to stop at least two car lengths before the line at red lights. You can’t be too careful these days with so many bad drivers around.

20 thoughts on “New! – Your Florida Driving Tips”

  1. Sounds like the voice of experience.

    It takes me several months to get ready for Chicago drivers in August and maybe I’d better start now.

  2. ” Try Belgium!”

    In Australia they drive on the wrong side of the road and keep it a secret until the last second.

    Ireland is pretty exciting. I was at a cocktail party in Cork one time and the host arrived a bit late and looking shaken. He thought he had run some stupid tourist off the road. He always drives on the wrong side so he can see, then quickly slips back to the right (left) side when another car is coming. The stupid tourist was faked out and went over the side and down a hill. We all had to troop out to the site to see if he was still alive. Fortunately, we were able to get back to the party quickly. The host had had a few drinks before leaving the office and there was no other car there.

  3. FL – shouldn’t you have at least 3 hats sitting on the car’s rear deck – with the left (or right) signal going for at least 10 minutes?

  4. People ask me if cars operated by computers are a good idea. I tell them that I see driverless cars all the time. The people seated behind the steering wheels are eating, talking on the telephone, putting on make-up, yelling at their children, and doing just about anything other than sitting up with both hands on the steering wheel and both eyes on the road.

    It will be a huge step forward when cars are operated by computers.

  5. Belgium: by golly the numbers back up my driving experience there. Annual road fatalities per 100,000 vehicles (WKPD).

    Belgium 17

    Her neighbours:

    Netherlands 7
    Germany 6.9
    Luxembourg 8
    France 8.5
    UK 5.1

  6. That sounds like I55 between Burr Ridge and Channahon. I see crap like that every day.

    The guys in my company who’ve been in China building a couple of new nuke plants there tell me no one can hold a candle to the Chinese for wild west driving. It is so bad my company WILL NOT allow any employee to drive, even for non-work activities. They have a big carpool with hired local drivers to take you any where you wish to go.

  7. If you maintain a speed of at least 120 MPH while weaving through highway traffic … I can relate.

    Late for Thanksgiving dinner some years ago, driving up I-75, I guess 95-100 mph in my little RX-7, I was pulled over. To my embarrassment the trooper told me he had been behind me for ten miles with the lights flashing. He knew I had no idea and smiled when he filled out the ticket.

    These days finds me usually driving 5mph slower than the rest of you.

  8. oh yeah, another Florida tip: Keep that left-turn blinker on, just to keep the other drivers on their toes.

  9. I haven’t traveled too much around the country so I don’t know, but does anyplace match the Dan Ryan (my last time was 30+ years ago) South of Chicago? I have a number of vivid memories of vehicles going at least 70 mph veering across 6 or 7 lanes to make an exit.

    It was quite a shock to Mrs. Tyouth, a southern Illinois girl, when we chanced to go downtown.

  10. Yes the Dan Ryan is still that way, but at least it’s a fairly straight shot with fewer surprises than you get closer to the loop.

    The worst is just north of the 290 & 94 spaghetti bowl. The on-ramps for Adams, Madison, Washington, etc. are entrances on the left side of the road with very short ramps. You’re basically entering almost blind into the fastest lane in a section of the expressway that has no shoulders and is tunnel-like, cutting through the heart of the city.

    The road design is an inner city legacy so far removed from modern, safer constructions. I’ve often wondered why more accidents don’t happen around there. There must be something to the dynamics of the traffic flow at that spot. It’s a part of the city that is awake and active for just about 24 hours a day.

  11. I would have to say the craziest place I have driven is the LBJ Freeway in Texas. People will tail gate you – no – draft is a better word – at 80 mph.

    And you are in the right lane.

  12. My friend was working in Blyth, a small town on the North-eastern coast of England, and he was talking to his customer about driving practices. His customer retailed the story, allegedly true, about a family friend who stated that he was planning a holiday in France. The friend, who was thought to be in the lower IQ range, said that he had heard that the French drove on the other side of the highway, and he was going to get some practice.

    The next week, the planned traveller was back in the bar, and stated quite firmly that he was abandoning the whole idea of going to France, and explained himself by stating he had driven his car down the ‘wrong’ side of the local freeway, against the traffic for some three miles, nearly got killed seven times, took seven years off his life-span, and opined ‘The Frenchies must be really good drivers, but you won’t find me anywhere near that mad bunch”

  13. As a native born Floridian, I have but one thing to say:

    If you touristas don’t like the way we drive, trust me, the feeling is mutual, and you are welcome to go back where you came from….

    The real question is, did you notice the vast array of rental cars and out-of-state plates doing the things you’re complaining about?


  14. The Dan Ryan, isn’t that the one with the on-ramps on the inside, and the off-ramps on the outside? I remember that one from back in the 70s, and they were commenting on it being a lunatic design even then.

  15. IGB, I think the primary directive for people driving in a place strange to them is

    “Do not attempt to force a turn when one has, for practical purposes, missed the turn. Relax (tourists), go to the next corner or exit and turn around and try again.”

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