Midwestern Drinking

Dan and I and Gerry often joke about Midwest drinking and how people from other parts of the country simply have zero concept of what the midwesterner’s relationship with alcohol is like. We often go to sporting events together and watch massive drinking binges playing out to the left and to the right.

Recently I was out in Wrigleyville which is just packed with new bars and drinkers as far as the eye can see. The plaque below was at a bar called “Stretch”. For best results, click on the photo and read the individual “merit badges” that have been earned.

Here are some of the “highlights”

8 shots of Bacardi 151 in 22 seconds

Wow that much alcohol that fast is crazy. Dan and I were at a bar with some of the heaviest drinking I’ve ever seen and some crazy guy tried to buy us all shots of Jagermeister (there were 6 of us standing around) and no one would drink them so he just took all the shots and poured them into 2 regular drinking glasses and downed them in a couple gulps. That was so nuts I had to ask Dan the next day if we really saw it.

15 shots and 6 beers in one hour

This sounds about like “Mayor Daley” the merry idiot immortalized at Drunk Bear Fans. That guy was just probably trying to get loaded before going to a Cubs game. The best part about this is that I’d bet that guy drinks like that all the time and someone just had the foresight to document it for history’s sake. When you are on the clock you need to make the most of it, I guess.

The biggest differences occur when someone from another city is just plunged into the madness that we take for granted here in the midwest. A “normal” citizen who walks into Wrigleyville or game day near Madison or any midwestern city on a Friday night in the summer really can’t believe what is happening and thinks it is something special – it can’t be like this every day, can it? Oh yes it can. We are old now but I saw with my own eyes an entire new drinking class at Wrigleyville last night and they cover most of River North at 2am and beyond.

It is nothing to be proud of but it is reality here. You have to see it to believe it. Or just put up a plaque.

Cross posted at LITGM

7 thoughts on “Midwestern Drinking”

  1. Are you certain this isn’t just some kind of city thing? I’m pretty sure this kind of display would be rather rare in Kalamazoo, for example, though I’m confident you can always find the odd lush if you look hard enough.

  2. Yikes, just reading those makes me ill. Things get pretty rowdy on that block between Addison and Sheffield. Whenever I go to a game I head farther north up the Clark St where it’s more civilized. Either that or walk down to Will’s Northwoods Inn on Racine. You might like that place. It’s a Wisconsin bar.

  3. Any plaque with a mention of anything “Lite” should be removed. Have they no shame?

    2nd thought I had while reading some of these is that is how alcohol poisoning happens. Had a student at one of the schools recently die from that.

    Third thought after typing the above is that cash-strapped towns should post a cop by the door – easy pickens.

  4. I used to drink like that on New Years. Those were the days. I was once sick for two solid days afterwards. :-P Don’t do that anymore. We has a lot of fun though.

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