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  • We Will Cry Hot Tubs of Tears Over You, California

    Posted by Shannon Love on November 19th, 2012 (All posts by )

    With California circling the drain and the rest of us no doubt on the hook for all their idiocy, I think we should all expect to be crying over California a lot over the next few years.

    So, I suggest learning this Austin Lounge Lizards song from the early 80s by heart. (Lyrics below video)

    (By Austin Lounge Lizards, circa 1983)


    Those California girls are best, they say,
    That West Coast lifestyle steals your heart away,
    But surfer girl, our love wiped out,
    And now I’m so blue,
    I cry hot tubs of tears over you.



    I cry hot tubs of tears over you,

    I can’t eat a bite of tofu;

    I’ve given up tai chi and group therapy too,
    I cry hot tubs of tears over you.

    Our love was an expressway from the start,
    And you took the fast lane to my heart,
    But now my eyes, like LA skies,
    Are smoggy and damp,
    Why did you take the nearest exit ramp? (CHO)



    You told me good-bye at the beach;
    You fed me on white wine and quiche,
    But now I know, dear, since we’ve been apart,
    Acupuncture won’t cure a broken heart.


    Final Chorus:

    I cry hot tubs of tears over you,
    I can’t eat a bite of tofu;
    I’ve given up tai chi and group therapy too,
    I cry hot tubs of tears over you.
    Big redwood hot tubs of tears over you!

    Yep, were all going to be crying hot tubs of tears when California’s bill comes to our table.


    16 Responses to “We Will Cry Hot Tubs of Tears Over You, California”

    1. Frankenstein Government Says:

      Love it. I love making fun of California…but I gotta tell ya boyz…you ain’t far behind… flatlanders.

      It don’t matter anyway. 32 days to go.

    2. Mike K Says:

      The California papers, at least the Times, are predicting a budget surplus and saying that Jerry Brown’s polls are showing improvement. Now, when this new tax increase doesn’t produce the revenue, the papers will put that on page 32 at the bottom.

    3. Sgt. Mom Says:

      I spent twenty years in the military, living down the fact that I was from California, the land of flakes and nuts, and explaining to the humorously-inclined that SF/Oakland, and the Hollywierd fringe were not all that there was to the place. Large chunks of California were as sensible, conservative and as down-to-earth as any midwest farming state you could name. Sigh – I have no idea what happened. It was a wonderful place to grow up in, back in the 1950s and 60s.

    4. Bill Brandt Says:

      What can I say when the same idiots who created the mess keep getting voted back in –

      Sgt – I saw a :”red vs blue” map of CA counties and it was overwhelmingly red – but the blue has the population – along the coast, predictably

    5. Bill Brandt Says:

      ..The new state song

      Goldy the bear
      Is losing all his hair
      His teeth are out
      He’s got the gout
      He doesn’t know what it’s all about!
      His eyes are made of glass
      He’s losing all his class
      So its down with California!
      We’ve just seen the last…

    6. Mike K Says:

      Bill, that’s a parody of the UC Berkeley Cal Bears song that we used to sing at USC.


      1. The Dirty Golden Bear (to the tune of “The Sturdy Golden Bear”)

      (verse 1)
      The Dirty Golden Bear
      Is losing all his hair
      His teeth are out
      He’s got the gout
      He knows not what it’s all about
      His eyes are made of glass
      He’s losing all his class
      So TAKE the Dirty Golden Bear and shove him up your ***!

      (verse 2)
      The Dirty Golden Bear
      Has dirty pubic hair
      His dick is dead
      It’s got no head
      He cannot get it up in bed
      He tries to use his hand
      But cannot find his gland
      So YOU can find him jerking off the UC Berkeley Band!”

    7. Ginny Says:

      Thanks Shannon; I’d forgotten the Lounge Lizards but, reminded, they were (are?) great.

    8. Bill Brandt Says:

      Mike – I had heard that many years ago (or at least my incomplete version) – never knew where it originated until now – thanks! Seems apropos now doesn’t it?

    9. seaninsf Says:

      California has typically been about 10-15 years ahead of the rest of the U.S. politically and I’m hoping that trend continues. The national GOP going the same way as the California GOP and extreme-righting itself into oblivion – sweet. Maybe then we’ll be able to balance the national budget the way that Jerry Brown is balancing California’s, with tax increases (that I and many other Californians happily voted for).

      Reagan tried his best to kill the world’s finest system of public education and he came close to finishing the job. Luckily, he wasn’t able to kill all of it and with a Democratic supermajority in place, maybe we’ll be able to fix some of the mess he originated. Despite it’s middle-class student base and lack of funding compared to Stanford and the Ivies, Berkeley is still one of the world’s finest universities; UCLA is not too shabby either. Unlike most red-state schools, our state schools have more than their sports teams to be proud of.

    10. Bill Brandt Says:

      Seaninsf: We’ll see if continually raising taxes – instead of drastically cutting back spending – including pension obligations – will solve California’s problems. So far it hasn’t – the producers of this state – due to over regulations and taxes – have been leaving in droves – for years. The only growth area we’ve had in employment is govt employees – and someone has to pay for them.

      Just how did Reagain try to “kill the world’s finest system of public education?

      I think the rise of the CTA has done a great job of that –

      Time will tell as to which of us is right…

    11. renminbi Says:

      CTA-what is that,other than Chicago Transit? Acronyms raise my blood pressure (BP)

      Leave it to Shannon to come up with interesting takes

    12. Bill Brandt Says:

      Renminbi – that is California Teacher’s Association – the teacher’s union – they, along with the trial lawyers, are the 2 most powerful groups in the state.

      I think Michael Kennedy some time ago showed some data over the years how the test scores in our public schools were lowering as the CTA was rising. Obviously other factors are involved; but when you can’t fire incompetent teachers without moving a mountain that has to be a factor.

      I can remember – growing up here in the 50s – our public school system was the envy of the world.

      My first grade teacher – while she did not pioneer the teaching of phonetics – championed it – wrote a book on it.

    13. Gringo Says:


      Reagan tried his best to kill the world’s finest system of public education and he came close to finishing the job. Luckily, he wasn’t able to kill all of it and with a Democratic supermajority in place, maybe we’ll be able to fix some of the mess he originated.

      While your statement deals with California’s higher education system, for a moment try applying your statement to California’s primary and secondary education. When Reagan left office four decades ago, California’s primary and secondary education systems were highly regarded. Currently, California’s primary and secondary education systems are near the bottom nationally, when going by test scores. Can’t blame that on Ronnie, as he left the Governor’s office nearly 40 years ago.

      From my year as a hippie dropout activist in Berserkley circa 1970, I gathered the impression that California had a very high opinion of itself. I heard two middle aged professionals opine that in future centuries, the Bay Area would be regarded as Renaissance Italy is regarded nowadays- because of its activism. At the time,I considered that statement to be potentially chutzpah. Today, its chutzpah is patently evident.

      I got tired of a lot of the Austin Lounge Lizard’s political snark,which is a reflection of my evolving views on politics, but not all they do is political. The Car Hank Died In is a good one, as is their cover of Emily Kaitz’s song,Suzy Rosen’s Nose.

    14. Jason in LA Says:

      As Gringo mentioned, 40 years post Reagan, and 30 years post Prop 13, the left, much like Sean, continues the red herring game of laying blame on previous administrations…. Sound familiar?

      Low taxes are definitely not the problem with California.

      **note those income tax numbers are already stale as we just passed a retroactive tax increase to 13.3%

      And the Democratic supermajority may very well do an end run on the commercial property portion of 1978’s Prop. 13.

      As for the recently passed Prop. 20 tax increases, much if not all the *projected* revenue gains from that will cover Calpers and Calstrs surging pension obligations. The fact that many of these pensioners moved next door to income tax free Nevada — or other low cost states — seems lost on the beautifully minded blue voting blocks that Sean seems to represent.

    15. Shannon Love Says:


      California has typically been about 10-15 years ahead of the rest of the U.S. politically and I’m hoping that trend continues.

      Unlikely, political trend sitting follows economic vitality. California, like New York, rose to promenence as a Red state. It’s dynamic golden era was when it was almost bizarrely pro-business and pro-bulding. Jerry Brown’s father, Gov Edward Brown built like a maniac, roads, water projects, harbors, colleges, you name it. Ever since Jerry Brown’s first term in the 1970s, California has slowed and virtually stopped building, become overtly hostile to business and economic creatives and has lost it’s political and cultural leadership.

      It is following the path of New York, especially New York city, which was the hub of the worlds economy from 1918-1973. Now the state and the city are slipping into economic, social and political illrevelevence because the times and technology have passed it by. The same is happening to California.

      You can’t rest on your laurels. Just because California WAS great, doesn’t mean it IS great or WIIL BE great in the future. In fact history suggest the opposite, the greater the rise, the greater the fal.

      Reagan tried his best to kill the world’s finest system of public education and he came close to finishing the job..

      I don’t think Reagan did what you think he did but lets assume that he did. Reagan left office in 1975, 37 years ago. I was ten years old. Are you telling me that in a profoundly Democratic state like California, the Democrats haven’t been able to fix the problem in a generation and a half? Why did it take so long to correct the problem?

      That would be the equivalent of Japan in 1975 being worse off than in 1945 and still blaming every problem in the country on being bombed flat in WWII.

      Now matter how you explain it, blaming an existing problem on events 37 years ago if a very loud statement of the Left’s ineptitude and ineffectiveness in fixing education in the state. If you try to claim that California is Leftwing enough to fix the problem, then you must likewise conceded that all the accomplishments and the trend setting you see in California are also not the result of Leftwing policies. The blame and credit are forever linked.

      In short, if a political block blames events in the past or forces outside the polity for a problem the block can’t resolve, they are making an implicit declaration that having the block in power will not solve the problem. People might as well vote in someone else and give them a try.

      That’s the problem with the political competitive argument you are making. Such arguments are simply intended to win elections in a choice of the lessor of two evils election. If the Democrats haven’t been able to repair Reagan’s damage in 37 years, they probably can’t do so at all.

      Luckily, he wasn’t able to kill all of it and with a Democratic supermajority in place, maybe we’ll be able to fix some of the mess he originated

      This is dangerous reasoning because it signals the death spiral to a single state, authoritarian government. You’re basically saying, “California Democrat’s ideas can’t work in nearly balanced two-party state. We’ve got to dominate everything and have complete control or we can’t succeed.

      If you think you have to have a supermajority to get anything done, you think you have to have unbalanced and unchecked power to make your ideas work. That in turn suggest you conceptualize you need to seriously coerce as large segment of the population and that you cannot tolerate any dissension. That in turns means you will never self-correct, never reevaluate your ideas, but will instead cling to the conception of your own infallibility and seek every more power and more draconian means to impose your will on your fellow citizens

      Unfortunately, Leftists have repeatedly fallen into the this trap since the French Revolution. Instead of questioning whether your ideas might just be plain wrong, you instead claim they failed due to you not having enough power to impose you will on other citizens. You the set off a feedback loop in which you acquire and centralize more power, which doesn’t solve the problem so you think you need even more power, which doesn’t solve the problem and so on until you implode the society into tyranny and mass murder.

      One way of the other, you’ve got find solutions that you can implement quickly without overaching power. If you can’t do that, the state is doomed.

      Besides, the states of the old South were single party Democrats states for over 120 years and how did that work out?

    16. Ginny Says:

      Obama implies (well says) he wishes he had absolute power. As Shannon points out, that seldom works well. (That old white & landed guy Washington handed in his sword and a few years later handed over power – there are few of any gender or any color or any religion that do that – that is why, of course, he deserves a day of recognition to remind us to model his humility.)

      California embraced not only the teacher’s unions but fad after fad from education departments. Yes, that can pretty much destroy education. The scores do mean something. So does the clear inability to assimilate – or even understand why it is a good.

      (Did the Lounge Lizards do “Walkin’ the Drag”? I may be confused – it looks like they came together after we left town – so I don’t know why I rememeber them?)

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