A Blast From the Past – Magical Spam

(An updated version of a post from some years ago, presented for your diversion. I confess that things to do with real life, the Tiny Publishing Bidness and my busy schedule of book-related events have been coming thick and fast. I have about three posts on various topics planned, half-written and nearly complete, but, alas — this will have to do for now.)

Among my regular chores as regards maintenance of the various sites that I own and administer is that of emptying out the spam queue – which, unless there is more than a couple of hundred entries in it – I feel obliged to do a quick pass-over just to make sure that no ones legitimate comment has been caught in the spam torrent. This does happen, on occasion. But the most marvelous part is that none of the automated comment spam has ever “leaked” into the blog portions of The Daily Brief, Celia Hayes Books & More, and the new addition to the Sgt. Mom family of websites, LunaCityTexas.com, thus depriving readers of a handy link with which to purchase or download a dizzying variety of pharmaceutical products, porn, online games of chance, fake designer products,  and cell phone ring tones. (Alas, sometimes legitimate comments are caught in the spam queue.) Every once in a while, there is a spam which looks like a completely conventional and legitimate business; a spam with somewhat of an embarrassed look to it, as if not being able to figure out how it got into such disreputable company. But such are very rare – and since I do not click on the links, I have no way of knowing if they are indeed legitimate – or just generated by someone who is a little cleverer about disguising themselves.

Most of this stuff is so inept, so very bad at even looking like a blog comment that I wonder what they are getting out of generating it to start with. Sometimes it comes in Russian, Chinese, sometimes Italian and Spanish, but most often in fractured English. For one particular week of working in the spam-queue mine, it came with topic headings like this: “Cartoon Alien Porn” “lindsay lohan razzie” “limewire 2008 free download” and “Celebrity Cartoon Porn”. Some of the most curious comes with a two word comment that looks like someone has been playing a random matching game with a thesaurus. It results in such madly poetical conceptual pairings as “shooing inosculate” ” trimmed pestiferous” “dilutions hernial ” “fecundated anticorrosive” “surfeit psychoanalyze” “adumbratively tawdries” ” insolvent joists” “nettlier intarsia” “glutinously cosmos”. Yes, those phrases came from one week’s spam haul – I copied over the most hilarious for your delectation.

One of the most common recent spam comments is a sample comment with a dozen or so different iterations/versions for every sentence in brackets. Obviously, someone has gone to a great deal of trouble to generate and disseminate an all-purpose spam template. The prospective spam-comment generator (assumed to be non-fluent in English) is clearly expected to pick and choose various selections of the sentences in the template and cobble together a semi-coherent comment in sort-of colloquial English, but the Deity bless them, most of the comment-spam-generating morons just send out the entire template.

Some spam comments have just a random string of letters as text: thusly – “qjkdgtvf tdelpfnq ngwakhqb phkm ncyflb jhgikz ykwlqrcvp” but others have made a go of inserting a sentence – or at least half a sentence. All the following examples came as text for links to various porn sites. At least someone is trying. Not very hard, or with much success, but at least they are trying:

 

An English-language quarterly magazine targeting professional

Suzanna Gratia Hupp (born 1959) is a former Republican member

Jon Tester is a third-generation Montana farmer who understands

Hyperlinked encyclopedia entry provides a personal and political profile of the US Senator for

 

The last variety of spam is a real head-shaker: that’s the one that comes as a couple of hundred lines of text with links embedded in every two or three words. These go on and on and on, to the point where one wonders where the hell whoever generated it has been for the last couple of years. I believe most blog spam-filters kick back comments with more than one or two embedded links. One would think one with two or three hundred would be kicked back so far it would come out the backside of whoever sent it out – but hey, I don’t know anything at all about the thought processes of whoever generates this stuff. I just deal with the results.

Here’s another choice bit from the sample week that I collected: I imagine it came from someone using their own very special website-crawler/random text generator.

 

Instead of sugar most synthetic substitutes such as aspartame Equal Nutrasweet or sucralose Splenda will dissolve readily into cold coffee. The most widespread form of iced coffee in supermarkets is a canned version from a variety of brands with different flavours such as Cappuccino and Espresso and free design kitchen floor plans remodel kit, swiss replica corum admiral It became well known during the Athens Olympic Games when many tourists became fond of it and an article on the Los Angeles Times was written about it, I should like to be polite to the sound fake watches was heard on coming out directly we must act Albert Ontario Thyme and Again Creative Catering and Take Home Food Inc Fireplace accessories chimney caps fireplace candelabra fireplace screens and tools and everything for your fireplace and chimney. The single panel fireplace screens fit up against your fireplace and instantly update the look of your hearth Females wear pumps in place of shoes and may wear a skirt in place of slacks. It is only authorized for wear by officers and SNCO s and only a required uniform item for senior officers Majors and above, thin slate fireplace photos, visiting the White House except when in a tourist capacity or on an occasion where another uniform is specified, There are two approved varieties of MARPAT woodland winter green brown black and desert summer tan brown grey.
However both branches no longer mandate any sort of insignia on helmet covers since the visible portion in the front tends to be covered by mounting brackets for night vision devices. black and green flower layout aviation or infantry insignia so instead officers simply wear rank insignia on each collar. Semper fi The Definitive Illustrated History of the U All text is available under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License Mar Abstract A Contents A Archive A Publisher s Site Full Text by subscription A Related material PubMed record PubMed related arts PubMed LinkOut PubMed articles by Harding A paper piercing techniques. Click Here to see this One of a Kind Picture from the ISS Also see our SOKOL Space Suit Flown SOKOL Space Glove ORLAN Space Gloves High Altitude Space Suit We own the World s Largest Space Artifact Collection.

 

I have only one cogent thought about the generators of automated spam – and that is, if they are charging someone money to effectively package and disseminate text and links disguised as legitimate comment through out the blogosphere – than someone is really getting ripped off.

1 thought on “A Blast From the Past – Magical Spam”

Comments are closed.