The Journey Begins

And so, at the appointed hour, Cornflake and I began our great quest. First we had to provision ourselves with the proper travel food.

Our initial fears of a terribly prolonged rush-hour exit from the Emerald City were unfounded. Traffic moved smoothly, although we were given a fond farewell by the traditional Seattle weather.

Contrary to common perceptions, clouds and rain are rare in Seattle in the later summer months.

Once out of the city, we proceeded to cross the majestic cascades.

Nearing Snoqualmie Pass on I-90, we were pulled over by a state trooper. This is no great surprise, as we obviously appear to be dangerous men, our vehicle has California plates that have had expired tabs for nearly a year (which we explained to him with good cheer), and we were speeding egregiously. After taking my comrade’s ID for a moment, he miraculously asked us to slow down and bade us good day.

I am unsure whether he was one of the communist saboteurs I discussed earlier, keeping tabs on us, or a previously unknown ally. I remain troubled by the incident. Unfortunately, I was unable to photograph this curious man.

After this, we crossed the pass with Jumping Jack Flash blaring through the car’s speakers. This is a vastly different landscape from western Washington, both physically and politically. As Cornflake so eloquently put it as Bush signs raced by, “we ain’t in a blue state anymore.”

Soon we were in the small eastern Washington town of Vantage. Here we consumed dead animal flesh and enjoyed the view of the Columbia River.

Next came Spokane, which is an interesting city in terms of old architecture, but a dreadfully boring one in terms of everything else. Here is a picture of a train going through downtown for your amusement.

The Idaho panhandle boasts some beautiful scenery that I will spare you for now. However we did take the opportunity to stretch our legs at the Idaho-Montana border.

Your humble narrator, Captain Mojo

His stalwart compatriot, Commander Cornflake

Once past the Montana state line, we were immediately greeted by a rainstorm of near-biblical proportions. Strange weather for early august… I think I smell pinko weather control technologies at work.

As we barely survived this massive storm, we were greeted by an even greater danger: lack of fuel! I was sure we filled up not that long before, but here was the fuel gauge disagreeing. More evidence for perfidious communist saboteurs? I report. You decide.

It’ll take more than those filthy little tricks to derail us Uncle Joe!

Soon we were cruising through the wilds of western Montana, enjoying the magnificent scenery. If you’ve not been through this country, I highly recommend it.

The vast expanses gave us pause and led to the following, typical, conversation:

Mojo – “Man, we’re never gonna fill up this country.”
Cornflake – “You think?”
Mojo – “Yup. Hell, in 50 years there’s gonna be 500 million people in America, and this place’ll still be empty.”
Cornflake – “Hmmm, 500 million of us. I’m not so sure that’s going to be good.”
Mojo – “What? It’s bound to be totally awesome. With 500 million Americans, we’ll, like, rule the world… I mean, more than we already do.”
Cornflake – “You bring up an excellent point…”

Cornflake is a good man.

After stopping off at Missoula for a Hops and Barley based refreshments, we made our way to Butte, where we decided to rest for the night. Dinner could be obtained from a fine establishment known to the locals as the “Bonanza Freeze”. The burgers look foul, but are in fact quite palatable, edible, and nutritious. The fries receive a B-, however.

Our temporary home, the Butte Budget Motel is a fine establishment, if you define the term “Fine” to mean squallid, poorly designed and built, and in a crappy location. I think you can guess who I blame. The price is right however, and smoking is allowed, so I guess it’s OK.

Now its time to sign off. Tomorrow we attempt to make it all the way to Minneapolis, where a safe house awaits us, in a single day.

I will be in contact when I can.


5 thoughts on “The Journey Begins”

  1. mmmmm…..Booooombaaaaay Saaaapphiiire…..

    nectar of the GODS!!!!

    Looks like a great trip. I was stationed in Idaho for 6 months at INEL when I was in the navy and travelled to Missoula/Lolo from time to time…

    Every time I reminisce of those places I always think of Norman Maclean’s “A River Runs Through it”…great country…

    Funny story…
    Did you happen to catch the name of the Butte High School mascot?
    Once when me and my buddy were driving throught Butte we stopped in a truck stop and got some snacks and we see these bumper stickers:

    Butte Pirates

    True story….they may have changed it since then(1991), but who in the world picked that mascot???

  2. Everytime I go on a car trip I seem to consume mass quantities of beef jerkey. They sell it every gas station in America. Bagged pickles are also a favorite snack on the road. What better way is there to keep up that sodium intake?

    I’d replace the Bombay Sapphire with a bottle of Jim Beam, but that’s because I’m white trash. Have fun on your trip out here to DC! :)

  3. I’d replace the Bombay for my rot gut Seagram’s gin (“knottyhead”), but that’s just the white trash in me, too. Although, beer and Marlboro’s get good mileage as well.

    Damn fine blogging, Captain. Damn fine. Looking forward to the rest of the trip log. –s

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