Yes, it’s Talk Like a Pirate Day again.
In response to severe military cutbacks, Jim the Pirate has been hired to police our southern border and, as resources allow, the entire Middle East.
We are hoping that his health is up to the task as he has recently been seen working off the coast of Liberia and looks a bit wan in this photo.
—-
Previous Talk Like a Pirate posts:
2011
2007
2006
2005
2004
Introducing Jim the Pirate
Jim is America’s secret weapon.
I’m feeling better about things now that I know he is on the job.
Dr. Peter Blood: We, the undersigned, are men without a country. Outlaws in our own land and homeless outcasts in any other. Desperate men, we go to seek a desperate fortune. Therefore, we do, here and now, band ourselves into a brotherhood of bucaneers… to practice the trade of piracy on the high seas. We, the hunted, will now hunt! Therefore, to that end, we enter into the following Articles of Agreement: First: We pledge ourselves to be bound together as brothers in a life and death friendship, sharing alike in fortune and in trouble. Second Article: All monies and valuables which may come into our possession shall be lumped together into a common fund… and from this fund shall first be taken the money to fit, rig, and provision the ship. After that, the recompense each shall receive who is wounded is follows: for the loss of a right arm: 600 pieces of eight; left arm: 500; for the loss of a right leg: 500; left leg: 400.
Honesty Nuttall: [to Hagthorpe] A fella can get rich if he’s lucky.
Henry Hagthorpe: Greedy, greedy.
Dr. Peter Blood: [continuing to dictate] If a man conceal any treasure captured or fail to place it in the general fund, he shall be marooned. Set ashore on a deserted isle, and there left with a bottle of water, a loaf of bread and a pistol with one load. If a man shall be drunk on duty he shall recieve the same fate. And if a man shall molest a woman captive against her will… he, too, shall receive the same punishment. These Articles entered into this 20th day of June, in the year 1687.
[having finished dictating, he addresses the crew]
Dr. Peter Blood: Now, men, you’ve heard the Agreement. It’s the world against us and us against the world!
Rev. Uriah Ogle: “His hand will be against every man, and every man’s hand against him.” Genesis, 16th chapter, 12th verse.
Dr. Peter Blood: Those of you in favor of these Articles raise your right hands and say, “Aye!”
[the whole crew does so]
Arrrg ye dirty scum. Outta my way, afore I slit ye scurvy throats!
Small boy: [knocks on door] Trick or treat!
Mrs. Smith: Oh, you’re a pirate, how cute. Where are your buccaneers?
Small boy: Under my buccan hat.
Avast. Shiver me timbers.
Now I understand the facebook post. There is a Pirate Day at Catalina Island about now.
Aaaargh, matey!
It’s amazing how one portrayal in a kids movie a half-century and more ago now defines the entire concept of being a pirate, and how to talk like one.
If only they could play soccer….
I dunno. I think it must go at least back to Treasure Island. I just looked it up, and it was published in 1883!