Time to go shopping?

by


Oatmeal sweetened with Gatorade powder.


51 thoughts on “Time to go shopping?”

  8. yaaaak. Didn’t know you’re that masohistic. Or like scientific experimenting on yourself. Or are training for Survivor.

    On Saturday I will be
    1) roasting lamb leg with rosemary
    2) stewing red potatoes with mushrooms
    3) baking almond cookies with raspberry jam

    You’re welcome to come over, to recover from your experiments.

    [everyone here is welcome, too.]

  17. Tatyana,

    Shannon-before I baked them? That’s one trick I haven’t seen

    Time is but an illusion, grasshopper. For the true master of freeloader fu, the mere fact that something does yet exist is no impediment.

  19. I’m deeply impressed with you wisdom oh Freeloader Fu Master. [incidentally, how were they? Not too much sugar? Should I use confection powder instead, next time?]

  26. Try eating it with the lights off next time.

    Without the visual element, it may be less yucky.

    Speak for yourself, Lex.

    In a pinch I’ll eat oatmeal with additives that’ll turn it shampoo blue. A ‘pinch’ being a situation where I really can’t be bothered to go shopping for something as prosaic as food.

  28. Outstanding comment, Ralf. Beautiful and insightful. Never in the course of human affairs has so much been owed by so many to so few. Yes, we are the few, the proud, the band of brothers who eat the oatmeal with weird shit in it because we didn’t go shopping. Why do we do this? Because, like Mt. Everest, it was there, and the brown sugar and raisins weren’t.

    Ralf, my brother in oatmeal, I salute you.

  31. I would think that the ChicagoBoyz being in Chicago would push the Quaker Oats product, not try to scare off potential buyers.

  32. Jonathan,

    I think this deserves its own song:

    (To the tune of “Dreadlock Holiday”)

    I was walkin’ down the aisle
    Concentratin’ on trolleyin’ right
    I heard a female voice beside of me
    And I looked round in a state of fright
    I saw four faces one mad
    A shopper from the gutter
    They looked me up and down a bit
    And turned to each other

    I hurried to the check-out
    Puttin’ down my groceries
    I heard a female voice beside me say
    Would you like a kick in the ‘nads?
    I was first here
    You cut in line right before me
    You got to show some respect
    You’ll be sorry you crossed me
    You’d better understand that you’re alone
    A long way from home

    And I say
    I don’t dislike shopping no no
    I hate it
    I don’t dislike shopping oh no
    I hate it

  33. Ralf, do they deliver in Germany? Supermarkets, I mean.
    In NY there is a Co geared to pitiful socially..er..challenged people like you, who is incapable of handling females in the check-out line: Fresh Direct.

    I recall in one of the Remarque books (Schatten im paradies?) the main character was astonished to discover all shops in NY do delivery – most for free, just for the cost of tips to delivery guy. And that was in, what, 1943?
    Nothing changed since then in German customer service?

  34. To the tune of Rockaway Beach:

    Chewin’ out a rhythm on my bubblegum
    Got nothin’ in the ‘fridge and that’s no fun
    It’s too hard, no way no how
    to go outta the house, and buy some chow.

    Up in the cabinets, under the sink
    I don’t care if its moldy or stinks
    Baby if I can choke it down
    That’ll save me a trip into town.

    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    I wanna eat some day-glo Gatorade oatmeal

    It’s too hard, no way no how
    To go outta the house, and buy some chow!
    It’s too hard, no way no how
    Go outta the house, and buy some chow!

    (Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!)

    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    I wanna eat some day-glo Gatorade oatmeal!

    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
    I wanna eat some day-glo Gatorade oatmeal!

  35. Eureka! I know what that reminds me of: this! Specifically, periodic shots of morgue tables, where they are weighing the contents of the scull or some such business as usual…

  37. Dude, there was a time when I was living on less than 50 cents per day in food. I got a roll at the bakery, and ate it work with free work coffee. Skipped lunch. Then worked late enough to get some free chow on the client. At $18,000 per year, I had no slack in the budget. That was before they paid paralegals overtime — they called us professional staff and drove us like mules! Plus I bought books instead of food, which was a good idea. I was skinny for a few extra years, and I still have most of the books. An all-around win.

  39. Ha. That was a different lean and hungry period, a/k/a the Hyde Park Years.

    That other lean and hungry period came later, a/k/a the Boys Town Years. Thank heavens for Billy Boy Gyros, at Broadway and Cornelia, now sadly r.i.p. An overflowing styrofoam takeout container with half a chicken, salad, a roll and a big pile of handcut fries was $5. I did have to eat on the weekends, assuming that the law firm did not keep you there all weekend.

    Sometimes I had money to go nuts and get the chicken, if I had not spent it all at Bookman’s Corner, still the best used book store in Chicago.

  42. Yeah, that was takeout, but it was not really luxury. It was a high calorie binge to sustain me through the weekend. That chicken really was good. They had a flame grill where they cooked the meat, and the chicken had a nice bit of char on the outside.

  43. Jay, I have to think that if the mongols of the early days could have popped open a frosty Old Style Tallboy, they would have given up on the local brew.

  47. Ralf, do they deliver in Germany? Supermarkets, I mean.
    In NY there is a Co geared to pitiful socially..er..challenged people like you, who is incapable of handling females in the check-out line: Fresh Direct.

    Tatyana, yes they do but I don`t think it is free. And they certainly wouldn`t deliver the hundred pounds worth of curd cheese, low-fat yoghurt and rice for free I usually get ;)

  48. Jonathan,

    Ralf, where are you shopping?

    various supermarkets. They all saved on staff in the last years, and usually they only open 3 of the available 5 to ten check outs, with predictable results. I have lots of time to write songs while waiting in line :)

  50. Ralf, it is, once again – a classic choice: either time (in checkout line) or money (you pay for hassle-free delivery). What’s your time worth to you?

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