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    Time to go shopping?

    Posted by Jonathan on December 20th, 2007 (All posts by )


    Oatmeal sweetened with Gatorade powder.

     

    This entry was posted on Thursday, December 20th, 2007 at 10:16 am and is filed under Humor, Photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

    51 Responses to “Time to go shopping?”

    1. Dan from Madison Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 10:21 am

      Damn, we all need to use the Amazon window to avoid you dumpster diving now too.

    2. Lexington Green Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 10:33 am

      Eat it all or you get no dessert!

    3. Jonathan Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 10:41 am

      Ha. I should add that I probably will not try this combo again.

    4. Jonathan Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 10:44 am

      P.S. The fish oil capsules I had for dessert made this breakfast experience even more memorable.

    5. Lexington Green Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 10:47 am

      Try eating it with the lights off next time.

      Without the visual element, it may be less yucky.

    6. fred Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 11:06 am

      It’s time to have someone go shopping for you.

    7. Daniel Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 11:18 am

      I once tried butter as a replacement for 1/2&1/2 for my coffee. Alas, fat is not fungible.

    8. Tatyana Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 11:22 am

      yaaaak. Didn’t know you’re that masohistic. Or like scientific experimenting on yourself. Or are training for Survivor.

      On Saturday I will be
      1) roasting lamb leg with rosemary
      2) stewing red potatoes with mushrooms
      3) baking almond cookies with raspberry jam

      You’re welcome to come over, to recover from your experiments.

      [everyone here is welcome, too.]

    9. Dan from Madison Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 11:57 am

      Be careful what you wish for Tat, Shannon’s freeloader fu is extremely strong.

    10. Tatyana Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 12:06 pm

      Good. If he lets me know a day before I can buy 2 lamb legs to roast.

    11. Lexington Green Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 12:09 pm

      Blog party at Tatyana’s crib? Sounds like it.

      (I suggest adding a green vegetable.)

    12. Tatyana Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 12:24 pm

      Lex, there will also be mesclune salad – but that doesn’t take time to cook. Or I can add Brussel sprouts, just for you?

    13. Shannon Love Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 12:32 pm

      Tatyana,

      I regret to inform you that I have already eaten the almond cookies.

    14. Lexington Green Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 12:40 pm

      I cannot be there! But, some Brussel sprouts would go nicely.

    15. Tatyana Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 1:16 pm

      Shannon-before I baked them? That’s one trick I haven’t seen.

      You haven’t tried mine, or you wouldn’t be so sure.

    16. Tatyana Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 1:18 pm

      Lex – we can coordinate the date for the next party, convenient for everyone involved. New Year would do nicely, f.i.

    17. Shannon Love Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 1:43 pm

      Tatyana,

      Shannon-before I baked them? That’s one trick I haven’t seen

      Time is but an illusion, grasshopper. For the true master of freeloader fu, the mere fact that something does yet exist is no impediment.

    18. Jonathan Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 2:04 pm

      Shannon, you are welcome anytime for some Gatorade-flavored oatmeal!

    19. Tatyana Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 2:27 pm

      I’m deeply impressed with you wisdom oh Freeloader Fu Master. [incidentally, how were they? Not too much sugar? Should I use confection powder instead, next time?]

    20. Soob Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 3:15 pm

      Damn, Jonathan, haven’t you got a neighbor you could bum a few spoons of sugar from? Looks like something out of a horror flick.

    21. Lexington Green Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 3:37 pm

      For some reason the photo reminds of a guy I knew who put margerine and Equal on his grits.

    22. Tyouth Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 6:02 pm

      Mescaline salad? whooooooa dude!

    23. Mitch Townsend Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 6:03 pm

      Maybe you should go back to taking pictures of your feet.

    24. Jonathan Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 6:07 pm

      Be careful what you wish for.

    25. Dan from Madison Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 6:14 pm

      Nothing beats the ChicagoBoyz fashion series…it is about time for the winter footwear collection….

    26. Ralf Goergens Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 6:15 pm

      Try eating it with the lights off next time.

      Without the visual element, it may be less yucky.

      Speak for yourself, Lex.

      In a pinch I’ll eat oatmeal with additives that’ll turn it shampoo blue. A ‘pinch’ being a situation where I really can’t be bothered to go shopping for something as prosaic as food.

    27. Tatyana Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 8:18 pm

      Tyouth, at least it’s green

    28. Jonathan Says:
      December 20th, 2007 at 8:41 pm

      Outstanding comment, Ralf. Beautiful and insightful. Never in the course of human affairs has so much been owed by so many to so few. Yes, we are the few, the proud, the band of brothers who eat the oatmeal with weird shit in it because we didn’t go shopping. Why do we do this? Because, like Mt. Everest, it was there, and the brown sugar and raisins weren’t.

      Ralf, my brother in oatmeal, I salute you.

    29. Anonymous Says:
      December 21st, 2007 at 1:53 pm

      Didn’t some Brit lady write a best selling book titled EATS SHIT and DYES?

    30. Ralf Goergens Says:
      December 21st, 2007 at 1:53 pm

      Ralf, my brother in oatmeal, I salute you.

      Thanks, and the same to you :)

    31. Jack Coupal Says:
      December 21st, 2007 at 3:38 pm

      I would think that the ChicagoBoyz being in Chicago would push the Quaker Oats product, not try to scare off potential buyers.

    32. Ralf Goergens Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 6:50 am

      Jonathan,

      I think this deserves its own song:

      (To the tune of “Dreadlock Holiday”)

      I was walkin’ down the aisle
      Concentratin’ on trolleyin’ right
      I heard a female voice beside of me
      And I looked round in a state of fright
      I saw four faces one mad
      A shopper from the gutter
      They looked me up and down a bit
      And turned to each other

      I hurried to the check-out
      Puttin’ down my groceries
      I heard a female voice beside me say
      Would you like a kick in the ‘nads?
      I was first here
      You cut in line right before me
      You got to show some respect
      You’ll be sorry you crossed me
      You’d better understand that you’re alone
      A long way from home

      And I say
      I don’t dislike shopping no no
      I hate it
      I don’t dislike shopping oh no
      I hate it

    33. Tatyana Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 10:29 am

      Ralf, do they deliver in Germany? Supermarkets, I mean.
      In NY there is a Co geared to pitiful socially..er..challenged people like you, who is incapable of handling females in the check-out line: Fresh Direct.

      I recall in one of the Remarque books (Schatten im paradies?) the main character was astonished to discover all shops in NY do delivery – most for free, just for the cost of tips to delivery guy. And that was in, what, 1943?
      Nothing changed since then in German customer service?

    34. Lexington Green Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 12:36 pm

      To the tune of Rockaway Beach:

      Chewin’ out a rhythm on my bubblegum
      Got nothin’ in the ‘fridge and that’s no fun
      It’s too hard, no way no how
      to go outta the house, and buy some chow.

      Up in the cabinets, under the sink
      I don’t care if its moldy or stinks
      Baby if I can choke it down
      That’ll save me a trip into town.

      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      I wanna eat some day-glo Gatorade oatmeal

      It’s too hard, no way no how
      To go outta the house, and buy some chow!
      It’s too hard, no way no how
      Go outta the house, and buy some chow!

      (Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!)

      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      I wanna eat some day-glo Gatorade oatmeal!

      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      Gate! Gate! Gatorade oatmeal
      I wanna eat some day-glo Gatorade oatmeal!

    35. Tatyana Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 1:25 pm

      Eureka! I know what that reminds me of: this! Specifically, periodic shots of morgue tables, where they are weighing the contents of the scull or some such business as usual…

    36. Jonathan Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 2:44 pm

      Good lyrics, Lex. It’s clear that you have BTDT.

      Ralf, where are you shopping?

    37. Lexington Green Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 3:11 pm

      Dude, there was a time when I was living on less than 50 cents per day in food. I got a roll at the bakery, and ate it work with free work coffee. Skipped lunch. Then worked late enough to get some free chow on the client. At $18,000 per year, I had no slack in the budget. That was before they paid paralegals overtime — they called us professional staff and drove us like mules! Plus I bought books instead of food, which was a good idea. I was skinny for a few extra years, and I still have most of the books. An all-around win.

    38. Jonathan Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 3:43 pm

      I take it your lean-and-hungry period didn’t overlap your Valois period.

    39. Lexington Green Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 3:59 pm

      Ha. That was a different lean and hungry period, a/k/a the Hyde Park Years.

      That other lean and hungry period came later, a/k/a the Boys Town Years. Thank heavens for Billy Boy Gyros, at Broadway and Cornelia, now sadly r.i.p. An overflowing styrofoam takeout container with half a chicken, salad, a roll and a big pile of handcut fries was $5. I did have to eat on the weekends, assuming that the law firm did not keep you there all weekend.

      Sometimes I had money to go nuts and get the chicken, if I had not spent it all at Bookman’s Corner, still the best used book store in Chicago.

    40. Tatyana Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 6:47 pm

      Lex, you could afford takeouts? how luxurious

    41. Jay Manifold Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 9:50 pm

      Jonathan – I recommend washing this stuff down with a tall glass of ayrag.

    42. Lex Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 11:09 pm

      Yeah, that was takeout, but it was not really luxury. It was a high calorie binge to sustain me through the weekend. That chicken really was good. They had a flame grill where they cooked the meat, and the chicken had a nice bit of char on the outside.

    43. Lex Says:
      December 22nd, 2007 at 11:51 pm

      Jay, I have to think that if the mongols of the early days could have popped open a frosty Old Style Tallboy, they would have given up on the local brew.

    44. Tatyana Says:
      December 23rd, 2007 at 11:35 am

      Here, a preview.

    45. Jonathan Says:
      December 23rd, 2007 at 12:00 pm

      Looks great!

    46. Tatyana Says:
      December 23rd, 2007 at 12:26 pm

      Yes, I’m serious about my food.

    47. Ralf Goergens Says:
      December 23rd, 2007 at 2:26 pm

      Ralf, do they deliver in Germany? Supermarkets, I mean.
      In NY there is a Co geared to pitiful socially..er..challenged people like you, who is incapable of handling females in the check-out line: Fresh Direct.

      Tatyana, yes they do but I don`t think it is free. And they certainly wouldn`t deliver the hundred pounds worth of curd cheese, low-fat yoghurt and rice for free I usually get ;)

    48. Ralf Goergens Says:
      December 23rd, 2007 at 2:29 pm

      Jonathan,

      Ralf, where are you shopping?

      various supermarkets. They all saved on staff in the last years, and usually they only open 3 of the available 5 to ten check outs, with predictable results. I have lots of time to write songs while waiting in line :)

    49. Ralf Goergens Says:
      December 23rd, 2007 at 2:30 pm

      Lex,

      I can`t hope to match a musician such as yourself ;)

    50. Tatyana Says:
      December 23rd, 2007 at 3:19 pm

      Ralf, it is, once again – a classic choice: either time (in checkout line) or money (you pay for hassle-free delivery). What’s your time worth to you?

    51. Ralf Goergens Says:
      December 24th, 2007 at 12:40 pm

      Tatyana,

      I value both my time and my value, so I tend to go shopping rarely, but when I do, I get enough groceries to last a week.

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