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  • New! – Your Haikus of Existential Despair and Humor

    Posted by Jonathan on December 19th, 2019 (All posts by )

    Seminole truck stop.
    Bought coffee, didn’t like vibe.
    Got out of there fast.

    —-

    Financial experts:
    Often wrong, never in doubt.
    Caveat emptor.

    —-

    Your probiotic
    Killed my antibiotic!
    Ha ha, just kidding.

    —-

    Chinese scraper sites
    Steal copyrighted photos.
    Nothing you can do.

    —-

     

    Biz philosophies?
    “Do it now” seems to work well.
    Too brief for a book.

    —-

    Middle-aged white guy –
    Beard, ponytail, leather hat.
    Fits stereotype.

    —-

    Heed the small, still voice
    That says: Don’t push it today,
    You’ll blow out your back.

    —-

    Can’t reach them by phone?
    Their Org. is dysfunctional.
    Thus the voicemail loop.

    —-

    With age, hair migrates
    From head – to eyebrows, ears, nose.
    Just the way it is.

    —-

    UFO meetup…
    Rather interesting group.
    (That’s a euphemism.)

    —-

    A phrase might sound good
    And be logical nonsense.
    Check your metapahors.

    —-

    Old-age home has gym
    And other amenities
    The old folks don’t use.

    —-

    Street photography –
    Subjects threaten to call cops.
    Don’t argue, move on.

    —-

    Leftovers breakfast:
    Plantains, coffee, vindaloo.
    Wash it down with Tums.

    —-

    (Feel free to add your contributions in the comments.)

     

    11 Responses to “New! – Your Haikus of Existential Despair and Humor”

    1. Brian Says:

      What can bind us now?
      Only this one truth: Epstein
      Didn’t kill himself.

    2. Grurray Says:

      Endless Christmas songs
      Beginning to sound hackneyed
      More eggnog rum, please

    3. Beroaldus Schlotz Says:

      As I get older
      I get more sick of the cold
      the cold doesn’t care

      almost reclusive,
      off all social media,
      fee so much better

      I read these old books
      battles no one remembers
      forgotten heroes

      Get the business in,
      do the work, then bill the time,
      then, maybe, they’ll pay

      The old man’s dying
      good guy, solid, hit ninety,
      now its days or hours

      political talk
      you won’t change anyone’s mind
      It’s hard to give a shit

      alcoholism
      requires stamina, time, funds
      beyond what I have

      Not having money:
      turns out it’s a big problem
      Worse than people say

      Young female lawyer
      wearing a skirt and black tights
      I’m old, invisible

      The most basic things
      you once hoped to accomplish
      will never happen

      Hey, Debbie Downer,
      lighten up, your self pity
      is fucking boring

    4. Philip Says:

      What would it be like
      To have that day back again
      You and I could dance

    5. Gringo Says:

      Nothing I could say
      In seventeen syllables
      Would strike your interest

      The WaPo greets us
      Merry impeachmas to you
      But proles say stuff it

      Bade deletes the tweet
      Shocked there exist some yahoos
      Who do not agree

      Proles are revolting
      Do not worship at the feet
      Of the MSM

      It’s deplorable
      To disagree with WaPo
      The kulaks must die

    6. Dan from Madison Says:

      Forecast for Cayman:
      Eighties, with a chance of rum
      Palm trees wrapped with lights

    7. James the lesser Says:

      Say “Spring is coming!”
      Elevator icebreaker
      People start to smile

    8. Roy Kerns Says:

      Chicagoboyz posts?
      Four days none new. Will not do.
      My solution? Haiku

    9. orthodoc Says:

      Woke scolds make a fuss
      Nothing works to calm them down
      Why listen to them?

      Eight hours of light
      Sixteen of dark and cold night
      Need more coffee now

    10. Ragnarokpaperscissors Says:

      Windows N.T. crashed
      I am the blue screen of death
      No one hears your screams

    11. Anonymous Says:

      eleven of twelve times
      Floridian stationary monks
      live on home ground

      one of twelve times
      Caribbean middle class royalty
      live on board