American Alpha Male Test

by

(inspired by Are You an Alpha or a Beta Male? Take Our 20-Question Quiz and Find Out and the Bill of Rights)

1. If you are religiously observant, have you ever held a leadership position in a congregation? This includes volunteer/committee-type positions.

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes
  • 2 points for role that entails speaking/teaching

2. Irrespective of your religious self-identification, do you have one or more close friends with beliefs which significantly contrast with your own (non-theist vs theist, different major world religions)? A close friend is someone with whom you would feel comfortable discussing important matters in a “third place,” neither home nor work, ie probably not a relative or co-worker.

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes

3. Do you regularly speak to an audience for any reason? This includes teaching.

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes
  • 2 points for political content

4. Would you feel comfortable if asked to draft a 750-word essay on a topic for publication? This includes self- or online publication.

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes
  • 2 points for having written/published an essay of at least that length

5. Would you feel comfortable if asked to organize a public meeting or protest?

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes
  • 2 points for having actually done so

6. If your state or locality has an initiative/referendum/recall process, would you feel comfortable if asked to organize or work on a petition drive?

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes
  • 2 points for having actually done so

7. Are you sufficiently comfortable with firearms to be willing to use one in the proper circumstances? Present firearms ownership or significant marksmanship ability not required.

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes

8. Do you know how to respond if law enforcement pulls you over?

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes

9. Do you know how to respond if law enforcement requests to search your residence?

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes

10. Can you describe a Miranda warning? Exact wording not required.

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes

11. Can you describe “due process of law” without looking it up? Even a minimal definition is acceptable.

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes

12. Can you describe the process of a jury trial without looking it up? Detailed description not required.

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes
  • 2 points for having served on a jury

13. Can you describe the basic difference between a civil law system and a common law system without looking it up?

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for living in Louisiana
  • 2 points for yes

14. Could you easily make bail if you were arrested on, eg, an outstanding warrant for an unpaid parking ticket?

  • 0 points for no
  • 1 point for yes

Scoring:

0-6 you really need to try a lot harder
7-14 better than nothing, but put yourself out there more
15-21 alpha

25 thoughts on “American Alpha Male Test”

  2. stupid quiz. Can you organize an Art V CoS and overthrow the current political system peacefully? Compare/contrast!

  3. 16. And I’d have scored a couple of points higher if I had not been honest on question 13. I mean, I know how the legal system is supposed to work but how it works in the real world is another matter.

    TW

  7. Political involvement has its donwside, especially for those on the Right. Once bad/suspect posting, comment, experience that can be unearthed by the Attack Machine of the Left, and you could be facing unemployment. Vote out anti gun politicians, irrespective of alpha, beta, or omega status.

  11. I’m so ridiculously alpha that this is just funny.

    I need no support, I have no place, outside of a few game sites, that anyone agrees with me yet I’m completely happy with that. Why, because the world is composed, largely, of self absorbed idiots. Nothing particularly wrong with that, but I don’t fit in, and that’s fine. ;)

    I will relate the parable of Sheep, Dogs and Wolves.

    About 90% of humans are sheep and badly need to be like the other sheep. Maybe 9% are dogs and delight in herding the sheep around for their various purposes. Perhaps 1% are wolves and are interested in the game the dogs and sheep play but are not really involved. The dogs know wolves fight to the death and leave us alone. The sheep we find funny.

    Alpha …

  12. The dogs know wolves fight to the death and leave us alone
    Until the Rancher with no sense of humor comes along and shoots the wolves…..

  14. “Until the Rancher with no sense of humor comes along and shoots the wolves…..”

    I know you love your guns. Do you know what a parable is? There’s no rancher in mine, he would probably be a sheep actually, perhaps a dog.

  15. I know what a parable is, I was merely puncturing yours with reality.

    You are no wolf, my vision of you is that irritating, noisy little teacup Chihuahua with no teeth that nips at everyone’s ankles.

  16. LOL. I had a mini pin for many years and she was my baby. She was also so fast cats did not like to play with her.

    I had worked out this movie start scene, where a couple of bad guys were casing out a place, to do some kind of evil, and a mini pin came round the corner. They started, then laughed and continued. Just as they got to the corner another 200 came around it and did a basically land piranha attack, and shredded them both.

    Oh yeah! It was a horror comedy movie. I think the idea has legs.

    No Joe, you don’t understand parables, just insults. ;)

  18. Wolves don’t care much. They have no doctors, and like all predators are very careful. Tomorrow is good.

    You can walk in Cougar country quite safely, have been doing it for decades, if you make a point of acting tough. I walk fast and with confidence and smack stumps and stuff. They are not afraid of me but its not worth taking a chance I might damage them. All predators make this choice and if I’m not worth fooling with, I’m relativity safe. I have been charged by a very large black bear, and he backed down.

    Wolves will fight to the death in combat. Dogs generally will not. Now wolves facing pack guarded prey will simply stalk it, and wait for an opportunity. They are not into war, its just grocery shopping for them. The dogs have other priorities. ;)

  19. PenGun – If you actually believed what just came out of your keyboard, you would not behave as you have been doing for several years now.

  20. No idea what you mean. Do you not understand how careful predators are? And perhaps why?

    As well its a parable addressing the Alpha male thing. Not an actual discussion about wolves. Hi ho.

  22. LOL. I just got Stalker running in Linux. Played Clear Sky till the sky got light this morning. I do love my Stalker games.

    Go ahead be cyrptic. If you think a pack of dogs, fed and cared for to act as guards are an indication of Alphaness over wild wolves, you are simply, just another dog. ;)

    Ever met a wolf? They are quite different from dogs, they act like you are probably inferior, an equal at best. That’s not how dogs act. They are wonderful animals.

  25. I read it, but didn’t bother to score it. What does that mean?

    There were a lot of law-related (layman level) questions. How about some other topics?

    What is the first derivative of e?
    What hands beat a full house?
    In a 2-person canoe, where should the weaker or inexperienced paddler sit and why?
    What are the modern automobile parts that replaced the distributor, the carburetor, the king pins, and the ladder frame?
    What is a Marconi rig?
    Can you tighten or loosen a bolt without muttering “lefty-loosey, righty-tighty”? And if your 5/8″ wrench is just a tad too big, what do you try next? How about if you suspect it’s a metric bolt?
    What is a current ratio?
    I guess what I’m driving at is that the defining characteristic of an alpha is confidence, and he had better have the competence to back it up.

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