Humor

One of our regular commentors has no idea who Iowahawk is – clearly we owe our readers more than this. He’s the man, the Michael Yon of the Midwest, reporting on the always risky flyover territory. Like Lileks, he sends back reports, embedded in the seething ethnic enclaves. (Of coure if he’s the Michael Yon then Garrison Keillor is the Fisk.) Today, he analyzes a poll of that poorly understood group, the Lutherans.

Although a majority 87% of respondents agreed that “The world should be brought to submission under global Lutheran conquest and eternal perfect rule,” there was a great deal of disagreement on the means to accomplish it. More than 95% supported “pancake breakfasts” “popcorn fundraisers,” but support dropped to less than 80% for “cow tipping” and “T-P’ing infidel houses.” Support dropped even more dramatically for more violent means of conquest, such as “suicide bombing” (28%), “decapitation” (24%), and “running over Presbyterians with my Ski-Doo” (23%)

Lowering the level of Chicagoboyz discourse:

I’m not all that sure that Paris Hilton needs to fear the fate worse than death. Surely the average Hoosegow Honey at Iowahawk is more attractive – or at least seems to have something going on behind her eyes. That it is plotting forgeries and thefts still seems more bewitching than the absolute vacuity of Hilton’s stare. Speaking of Iowahawk, his series of letters to newspaper subscribers starting in 1957 and ending with a rather lovely & contemporary blackmail note catches a certain change in tone with which some of us are unhappily familiar.

1. Think of a set of three words that sound the same (homophones) but begin with different letters. Example: nice and gneiss sound alike and they begin with different letters, but there are only two of them. There is no third that I can think of that sounds like that. I can come up with four sets of three words, but I believe I have forgotten one.

2. How many English words begin with s but not sh, and are pronounced as sh? I can think of three, not counting derivatives of these three.

3. Give yourself 1 minute and write down all the words you can think of that are doubled syllables. Examples: bye-bye, Dada. Punctuation and capitalization do not matter, but spelling does (syllables must be spelled identically). See if you can come up with a primate, a flowering tree, an actress (her Magyar nickname for the name Susan, in English), and a treat.